Look into the shadows that blacken my soul

Pain fills the void with a burning hot coal

Search the depths for feelings that have long since fled

For all my feelings for you are now truly dead

 

I raise my face to the scorching hot sun

To burn away tears from eyes that constantly did run

To drown my sorrows in a pool of misery

Where my love shall lay, for all eternity

 

I now find solace in a cold shallow grave

For that is all that is do to me, I am but a nave

I once dared love with all my heart

I opened up my soul for you, and you tore it apart

 

To rip, to shred, to tare, to bleed

My pain-filled screams, you did not heed

I cried out for mercy, “save my poor soul”

But after chewing it up, you just spit it into that deep dark hole

 

I once did love another with soul soaring high

But she did clip my wings, and I no longer can fly

My heart is black, deaths cruel cape

Does make my shroud and my soul it does drape

 

To slip beneath the waves of my despair

And sink slowly from the surface, for none do care

Darkness comes upon me, so quickly and light

I feel it wrap me in its arms so tight

 

The darkness is all that does love me now

All that I know, all that I ever shall

My heart is dead, black as ash,

The fire in my soul, has been smothered at last

 

Cold pain filled breaths are all that remain

I write this sonnet now, to show you the pain

You’ve caused me to cry, to once live, but now die

I’ve once know love, but turns out it was just a lie

 

Thinking love has fled my heart forever

When walking one day I see a beautiful other

Her smile ignites a spark in my soul

And warmth starts to seep into my heart of black coal

 

Her voice like that of the lovely white dove

Does bring back memories, reminds me how to love

Her eyes sparkle with a mischievous light

I take her hand, and through the clouds we take flight

 

I once thought that love was all but dead

Until I remembered what a certain someone once said

Love is everywhere, if we only knew

How to open your heart, and let it overwhelm you

 

This is my story of misery and woe

The battle between love and a terrible foe

I’ve lost and won, soared and fell

Plummeted down into a deep dark hell

 

But I see the hand that does reach out for me

To save me from myself, everything I shouldn’t be

You saved my soul, made it once more mine

And I give it to you now, to hold for all time.

 

Love is a lesson we all must endure

Learn and grow, conquer and ensure

Life goes on, even after all looks bleak

For love is the one thing, we all do seek

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We all make mistakes, I know mine was bad.

excerpt from What if..   by Jillian