Death by Taffeta: One Bride's Treacherous Tale

Getting married isn't easy. Even if you do have three extremely (ahem) helpful best friends.

It all started one beautiful winter evening. We sat before the roaring fire, each cradling a glass of wine. It was a regular sort of night, nothing special.

The four of us had been talking for hours already, about silly things, the way we always did.

“If you get one of those shirts that kind of flows out, you know,” Michelle waved her hands around her hips for emphasis. “It’ll cover up the saddle bags.”

“No, no,” Anna popped a chip in her mouth and continued to disagree. “According to Oprah that only works if you’re six foot, or else it makes your legs look like stumps.”

“Really?” Michelle leaned over from her spot on the couch and grabbed the bowl of chips from the coffee table.

“That’s what she said,” Anna confirmed. “It was on last week sometime, I think.”

“I think I saw that,” Julie added from the other end of the couch. “Your best bet is a shirt that goes tight under the boobs. It’s the slimmest part.”

“I don’t think I have a slimmest part.” Anna looked down at herself for a moment. There was a slight pause, then, “Where’s the Ben & Jerry’s? Pass it here, Rachael.”

I looked around from my position in the armchair and spotted the half-empty tub of New York Super Fudge Chunk on the table next to me. I slid it across the table to Anna.

They continued talking but my mind wandered. I wasn’t sure if it was the right time to tell them. Then again, I thought to myself, if not now, when?

I knew what was holding me back; I didn’t want to disturb the routine. These are my girls, I thought. We’re a unit. The thought of change unsettled me. However, our weekly get-together was coming to a close and, after all, there was no time like the present.

“Girls, I have news.” I spoke up, finally and with decision. Across from me, Michelle sifted through the crumbs in the chip bowl while Anna had her eyes on the television in the corner.

Julie looked at me and said, “What?”

I took a deep breath, held it for a moment too long and finally breathed, “I’m engaged! I’m getting married!”

The three of them raised their eyes to me, wide and unsuspecting. None of them spoke until finally, Anna blurted, “Are you pregnant?”

“No!” I grabbed the T.V remote and chucked it at them, laughing. “Brian proposed and I said yes!”

The three of them still sat in a row before me, slightly speechless, until finally, all in unison, they jumped from the couch, squealing.

I stood up as well and we all came together in an awkward sort of group hug, jumping and squeezing and giggling like schoolgirls.

“Oh, Rach! How exciting!”

“I can’t believe it!”

“The first one!”

In a few moments, we settled down again, each of us breathing a little more heavily. I wasn’t sure what came next.

Finally, Michelle said rather causally, “Who will be your maid of honour?”

The three of them sat before me, looking quite expectant.

The End

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