Der Santa,

I just wanted to take this time to apoljize to you for throwing up on your lap at the mall. As an x-plantation, let me say that we just had lunch in the food court. After I finishd my chikn, I still had an extra cup of sweet and sower saws. So I drank it.

Anyway I figured you'd understand because Mommy said she could tell from your breth that you been hitting the saws too. Funny. Your breth didn't smell like sweet and sower. Do you use ranch?

I'm sorry we didn't get to take our pitcher together that day. I called my cousin Willie in California to tell him I met you and he said I'm a lier because how can Santa (you) be at my mall when Santa (you) is at his mall across the contry?

Can we set up a reshoot for our pitcher together? I want to send it to Willis so I can show him he's full of it and then you can skip his house from your root because he didn't beleeve me.

Thanks a lot,

Jarome

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Author guidance for This story

It is NEVER too early for Christmas letters, hear me?

Anyways. No real guidance, other than the branches at the end should be the child's following letter, and another child's 1st letter. Savvy?

St. Nick made me chuckle.

updated Oct 16 '11 by Jackerbie