Dear Mrs. claus
I aplolgiz for my badd spelling. I'm tryin to rite this inna car wich is eazier sed than done. Specialee with my brotther making all those loud noises next to me.
So anyway i have decided to rite to you this year as I fink Santa may be too busy with all the other kids and i thought you might like to get a letter too. I don't have many reck... ruck...rek... things to arsk for, this yeer. In fact i only want one fing.
Coold you pleez send me a big box with lots of stickee taype and a note saying "To Australia, No returns."
I hav decided, after much dulib... daleb... thinking about it, that i am going to send my brother Alfie to Australia. He is very anoyying and I want to get rid of him. Mummy says he makes too much mess too.
Hopeing you lyke yoor letter and PLEASE send me that box?