Letters I wish I could write.
I love you. I don't say it enough, but I really do. You are always there for me when I need you. You bring me up when I'm down. When I was bullied, you got upset for me. When I was dumped, you reminded me that God has a better plan. When I was lost, you taught me the right way.
I yell at you. Scream even. I'm always mad at you for something. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be, and I know all my apologies are "I'm sorry but.." apologies when they should be "I'm sorry" ones. I know I usually make you feel sad, even though you do so much for me. I forget to do the things you tell me to, and then I continue to wonder why you won't take a break from some things. I know I always say "Get some rest, I could do that for you. You always do all of it" Yet when you ask for my help I make excuses. I hate doing that to you, when I can see you're so down in your life. You are better than you make yourself out to be. You are really, honestly, amazing.
Mom, you need to change your favorite phrase. I don't love you "like a rock at the bottom of the ocean." As I once heard in a movie "Mothers are like God in the eyes of a child." I cannot say you are like God to me, but you are the next best thing. So I will say that I love you, more than I let on. When you write notes and put them in my lunch, I love you. When you make me cards for my birthday, Christmas and easter, I love you. When you hug me, just because you wanted a hug, I love you. There is not a day when I don't love you. There never will be a day when I love you any less than I do now.
Don't think I ignore everything you do for me too. When you do my laundry, when you wash my dishes, when you make me lunch, I appreciate it. All of it. Everything you do for me I appreciate, even when I get annoyed at you, or I don't say thanks when I should. I really do feel grateful when you do those things for me.
I know sometimes I rush through what you're saying, or I get annoyed when you don't understand. I'm sorry for doing those things. I'm sorry for having a short temper when I have to repeat things, even though I know you didn't hear me. I'm sorry for always yelling when I know you are only trying to help. I'm sorry for pushing you away like I do. I can only hope that it is just me being a teenager, and I will get over it. I hope one day I will be able to always show how much I appreciate you instead of never showing it, even when I feel it.
Again, I love you mom. You are perfect in every way. You help me when I need you, you give me strength when I am weak, you make me happy when I'm sad, you listen when I talk to you, you care about my problems no matter how stupid and silly, you still let me sleep next to you in bed when I'm scared, you always hug me and make sure I'm okay, you pay attention to me. And though you might be a little too protective, you always make sure I know I'm loved, never asking the same in return. You are loved mom, and not just by me, by all of us in the family. We all love you.
Your loving, though temperamental and stubborn daughter.