A new technology has been invented that lets you speak and the computer will record everything you say. However it does help when you buy one with a delete button, and your mate doesn't keep trying to sabotage your story.
Once upon a ti...
"Why the hell are you starting with once upon a time."
"'Cos that is how all the best stories start."
"No, it is how all the best fairytales start. And unless you are telling the story of how Hansel shagged Gretel then I can't see you telling a fairy tale."
"Well for a start I wouldn't be writing about that, as generally I don't make up stories about incest."
"Yeah, you don't have to make one up, you could just ask your parents about the night you were conceived."
"Shut up Danny. Oh great, this machine has recorded everything we have just said."
"Yeah I know. It's great isn't it. I must say, two years ago in 2012, I wouldn't have imagined that a computer could write everything we say."
"I must say for once that might be a good shout Danny boy. Now, where is the delete button? I don't wan't all this crap in my story."
"I said; where is the delete button?"
"No, I didn't mean sorry as in I didn't hear you, I meant it literally."
"It doesn't have one."
"You fucking idiot! Where the hell did you get a listening computer without a delete button?"
"Don't call it a listening computer. It makes it sound like a computer for lonely people. On second thoughts it is perfect for you."
"Shut it! Where did you get this piece of crap from?"
"Dodgy Dave. You bought an incredibly valuable piece of equipment, with an incredibly high monetary value from a man called Dodgy Dave."
"I'm sorry but what you just said about the monetary value just made you sound like a total prick."
"Fuck off Danny"