I was forced to go into a greasy spoon the other day. I ordered a cooked breakfast with a cup of tea and sat down. It came along pretty quickly, that was impressive/perhaps quite disturbing. The cup of tea cost me £2, £2 for a cup of tea! What the hell kind of tea was it!? I know what tea costs, and unless its coated in gold and brewed out of the Queen’s arsehole then I don’t think its worth £2! It was a nice cup of tea actually, just like the ones I make at home that cost me 5p. The breakfast came, I was quite impressed, and there were even two sausages! That’s right, two! Then I looked again, I turned over one of the sausages and saw that my two sausages were actually one sausage cut down the middle to create the illusion of there being two. That’s just shocking! Who are they trying to fool!? Next was the toast, it had little butter packets, little butter packets filled with what tasted a lot like margarine. Now that’s just upsetting, they lied to me. The best bit was the sauce, used bottles of various breakfast sauces filled back up with a cheaper alternative, yeah Mr. Café Owner you aren’t fooling anyone!
That little adventure cost me a few pound, a few pound more than it should have been, why didn’t they just move into my fucking flat and be done with it!? Its the lies that I can't stand.