Chapter Four – The Final Rules

Now we were back at my house I felt slightly relieved and as though we were back in safety, although of course we were in safety anyway…as the saying goes ‘Home Sweet Home’. I’m also slightly surprised that all this disappearing and reappearing hasn’t made me permanently ill, but, then again… it isn’t as if it’s a rollercoaster ride is it…you just clap your hands and your in a new location, simple….really?

“Ok, Rule 3: Reappear Only When Necessary!” Fang said, as I again forgot all about him.

“Oh god, you’re not still teaching him the five rules are you? Sheesh, he’s a slow one isn’t he.” Said a voice, then I saw the bat fly round from behind my shoulder and back onto its pole on the bookcase.

“I heard that you cheeky….what is your name again? Oh yes…Dribble…now Dribble, could you please be so kind as to shut up?” I said to the creature.

“Yes Master.” Replied the eerie voice, which sounded like a man being strangled.

“Thank you.” I replied back, nodding my head slightly. Wow, I loved this slight authority with bats.

“Now, may I continue?” Fang said with his impatient gaze.

“You may.” I replied.

“Rule 3: Reappear Only When Necessary!” he repeated.

“Ok.” I said, now paying attention once again.

“Now, Vampires can not reappear somewhere if they are in danger, such as combat!” he said.

“Combat? I thought you said no one has ever fought a vampire?” I said in reply to his sentence.

“Yes, no one has ever fought a vampire. But something…has! Things such as the like of werewolves, Gibblywot’s, Cabooshka’s…”he said.

“Gibblywot’s? Cabooshka’s? What the hell are they?” I asked him, now even puzzled than ever.

“Oh, I’ll explain later we’re busy now…stop trying to put me off my teaching! Now, you also need to reappear at your home at least once a day otherwise you could die and be gone forever! So, in some cases…like when you are in combat and the fight is lasting forever, you may not be able to get home and you will, sadly, die!” he said to me, now I was slightly worried.

“Ok, and is that supposed to make me feel excited?” I said to him.

“No, its supposed to knock some sense into you…clearly it didn’t work. Now, come on…give it your best shot at trying to reappear back into the training room we were in just now.” He said to me in a serious but sarcastic tone, folding his arms in belief that I would fail considerably well. I stood there with my hands ready and thought very hard about the training room. I clapped my hands in quick succession and there I was! I was there…I had actually done it, with one attempt. I jumped up in the air, high up into the air as I did earlier and banged my head on the roof; obviously this room wasn’t as high. I fell to the floor and Fang appeared in front of me, immediately he started laughing.

“Ha-ha! What have you done now?” he said still amused.

“I jumped up in the air because I was excited about accomplishing your stupid step three and I banged my head on the roof.” I replied and to my annoyance he continued to laugh.

“I thought you said this was no time for jokes.” I said getting up onto my feet.

“I wouldn’t call that a joke, but yes, I suppose you’re right though. Ok, so where are we?” he said whilst his laughing fit suddenly stopped.

“In the training room.” I replied stupidly as I have done many times.

“No you Twollop, I meant where were we rule wise…ah, rule four. Ok. Rule 4: Use Fangs Only When Necessary.” he replied whilst whacking me round the head with the book as he called me a ‘Twollop’. “I don’t think I need to go into great detail here…just two things really; Only use fangs on humans when you need blood or if they are in the way and only use fangs on animals and creatures if it is the only weapon you can seem to get your hands on…ha!” he continued, speeding through the rule.

“Ok, got it!” I replied.

“Rule 5…the most important rule of them all! Don’t Use Eye Contact!” he said…his serious face still gazing at me like a statue.

“Why not?” I asked, intrigued.

“Because if a human sees our red eyes then they can see us…and no human has ever seen a vampire, so this is very important.” He replied.

“I thought you said only you have red eyes because you are the master of everything…or whatever you said.” Was my annoyed reply.

“I did…but I also said that my ability is to lie extremely well! Now…that’s all five rules done, I will leave you now so that Dribble can talk to you about house rules and what not! Have fun.” He said and before I got a chance to reply he clapped his hands and disappeared, at that point I wondered where he always disappears to!

“Great, I’m stuck with you am I? Mr. Dribble…big mouth!” I said to the bat, mocking his voice.

“What do you mean ‘Big Mouth’…I’ll have you know I have the smallest mouth out of my family members!” the stupid thing replied as its wings fluttered and it flew over to another pole on a different bookcase.

“What…out of all your two hundred and something family members you’re the one with the smallest mouth? Somehow I doubt that and somehow I would also hate to meet the rest of your family…especially all of them at once!” I replied mocking the bat species. Ha…I’m talking…to a bat!

“I’ll have you know…oh I give up already…I’m never going to win. I suppose I shouldn’t tell you the house rules either you’ll probably just ignore me then too!” the bat replied…slightly agitated I suppose.

“That sounds like the perfect idea, you should come up with ideas like that more often and then we would get on perfectly!” I replied, again trying to annoy the stupid thing.

“You know what…just shut up…and I will too, ok?” it replied as I chuckled.

“Ok…but make sure you give me my tea before half eight…I’m starved!” I replied, again trying to annoy.

“I am NOT your slave! Oh…right…that’s it…I’m going to the very top of this bloody room so you can’t bleeding hear me or see me for that matter!” it said as it flew up off its pole.

“Yes, but you bats have very good hearing so won’t you still be able to hear me? Ok then, see you Nibble…woops, sorry…Dribble!” I said…laughing afterwards at my success in making my new bat friend feel at home. I picked up the guidance book and slotted it back into its place in the bookcase and then sat down on my chair, feet up and chair leaning back slightly…the one that wasn’t broken anyway!

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