I stood in the doorway of my bathroom with a large spoonful of ice cream in my hand, staring at the hole in the wall. I felt like there was a crushing weight on my chest, I couldn't breathe. I went right into shock and started shaking. Then I realized the repercussions of the damage to my bathroom - Mary had been kidnapped! I started screaming. Then I stopped screaming, at least there was no sound coming out of my open mouth. I closed it with a clench of teeth, and looked around, confused. Moya was standing directly behind me making circular hand gestures.
"Sorry my dear, but I need to concentrate on fixing this hole, before it's noticed out on the street. I'll give you your voice back as soon as it's fixed. Don't worry about Mary. Albert is already out there looking for her. Whoever did it are amateurs. They didn't even bother to cover their magical signatures,” she said.
I sighed and let my shoulders slump, while Moya began some advanced spell casting. I watched in awe as the hole in my bathroom wall seemed to fill itself in as though I was watching a film being played backwards. It was fascinating stuff. I wondered if I would ever be able to do something similar, although I sort of doubted it. Moya was a very powerful witch. I didn't know what I was. I felt my jaw and made a little squeak back in my throat to test my voice. It was back.
“Ahhhh … “ I cleared my throat. “Thanks for fixing my wall, Moya. Do you think Mary is alright?”
“Of course. They took her probably because they thought she was you, and therefore valuable. They're probably going to hold her for ransom to the highest bidder. The only problem is that when they find out she isn't you, or even a magical person, they might do her harm just to cover their tracks. Hopefully Albert will find them first. He's a good tracker. He'll find your friend,” she said.
I knew she was trying to comfort me, but I could tell by the worry lines around her mouth that she was concerned too. She leaned over and scooped a handful of melting Dark Cherry ice cream out of the bathtub. I guess she adhered to the same philosophy as me. When you're worried, or angry, or sad, or celebrating - eat ice cream. One of these days it's all going to catch up with me, and I'm going to wake up one morning weighing 300 pounds. She stood licking her fingers while I crossed the room to sit on the toilet, looking at the newly repaired wall, unsure of what to do next.
Without warning, I heard an horrendous banging and crashing coming from the vicinity of my front door. Since it's a small apartment, sound carries. It was like I was on the inside of a drum being beaten furiously. I ran out to see what was going on, hoping I wasn't going to lose another wall to avaricious magical criminals.
I got to the door just as it crashed inwards, probably leaving a doorknob impression on the wall behind it. There was Mary on the front step surrounded by at least five small people who only averaged about three feet tall. A couple of them wore derby hats, and thee of them wore at least one green garment, and two were female. I could tell by the Gaelic language they were shouting that they were probably leprechauns – not tall ones like Kerry from the café, but normal sized for leprechauns. They were literally crawling all over Mary, who was kicking, yelling, and biting her captors in an effort to free herself. Albert was behind her, trying to pull a leprechaun off of her back.
Moya let out a stream of very loud very angry Gaelic words that I figured probably included a good deal of profanity. She threw out both of her hands then drew them in towards herself, uttering some sort of urgent spell. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. Mary, Albert and all five of the leprechauns came flying inside the apartment and landed in a heap on the floor as my door slammed shut behind them. Moya stood with her legs set apart, with her hands clenched in fists of rage at her hips, as she continued to curse at the group, this time in English.
“Wha … What on the gods' green earth is wrong with you?” she finally sputtered at the little people. "Kidnapping a human is a serious offense. Do you really want to end up being slaves for a huge evil smelling Cyclops who is as likely or not to eat you?”
Albert pulled poor distraught Mary out of the huddle on the floor, and escorted her to the couch. The leprechauns knelt or crouched before Moya, heads hanging, faces blazing red with either fear, confusion, shame, or all of the above.