Industrial Espionage/Atomic Bomb Theft

Well, they dismissed this option, which, you may have noticed, is in actual fact, two options, because they had no idea what the first part meant, and they quickly agreed that the second part would be more or less impossible, due to their lack of knowledge about both the location, and the function, of atomic bombs.

Which left them with the other two options, both of which they put in the ''pending'' tray.  This was actually under a large rhubarb leaf, but they called it a ''pending'' tray.  It sounded more impressive than a ''rhubarb leaf'', and more accurate than ''back burner.''

This, however, also left them without any workable options whatsoever, or so they thought.  While they tried to think up a new ''option one'' they were unwittingly going with ''option three'', namely, to just sort of... crawl around aimlessly and see what happens, instead of leaving it in the pending tray, under the rhubarb leaf or on the back burner.

One snail, however, a newly elected representative called Molly Uska , had other plans.  She crawled away, far from aimlessly, far from her aimlessly crawling fellow gastropods, an idea of great impact brewing between her twitching antennae. 

Her own new, improved, and highly workable ''option one'' was to infiltrate the slug community, and eradicate the lot of them.  After all, she reasoned, snails were, it could not be disputed, murdered, snailslaughtered, sacrificed or culled every day by the large bipeds who called themselves human.  But, were they actively hated, despised or looked at in abject revulsion, in the same way as their distant relatives, the non-homebackers?  Molly thought not.

Lets face it.

Everyone hates slugs.

If Molly were to pull this plan off, she would gain world renown, recognition, the undying gratitude of the Human race, and, more importantly, freedom for snaildom.

But... how could she do it?  The most obvious thing was to somehow remove her shell.  But she could not do this, as she knew there were lots of important bodily organs and stuff up there.  As far as she knew, there were no innovative snail-surgeons who had successfully perfomed a shellectomy.  There were no snail-surgeons of any other kind, for that matter,or snail physicians, come to that.  In any case, who would want to have that kind of surgery?   So, with surgical intervention out of the picture, it came down to three other options...

The End

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