A man just turned fifty ponders on what his life has become and how it got to be so far from where he thought it would be...
Coming out as bi ten years ago and getting divorced was easy, compared to this.
I had what can only be described as a nervous breakdown. I'd hated my job for a while. The company had been bought by another company that was ethically challenged. That, and they kept leaving me twisting in the wind with customers. So, depressed at the treatment and further disheartened by the longer commute, I stopped giving 100%. And then, the Percent-of-shit-I-give-ometer started dropping rapidly.
So, when a developer from a former customer contacted me about a contract position with a competitor, I jumped at the chance.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire, as it turned out.
In short order, a few things happened. First, the new position turned out to be another version of what I'd just tried to get away from, except worse. I literally could not walk in the door from the parking lot one day. And that was the end of the contract.
I filed for unemployment benefits and I got them. But I wasn't really ready to get back into the daily grind right away. I figured I'd take the rest of the summer off and then find a new position in September. And it was GREAT to wake up that first Monday and not have to drive through heavy traffic to someplace I didn't want to be in the first place...if a little scary.
But then September went by with no responses to resumes sent and jobs applied for. And then October, November, December...
But meanwhile, I was having more "success" in other areas. I was dating a woman I met through an online love letter group, a woman I'd met through the local BBW dances - and I was still having the occasional hookup with guys...Joe, who gave me free massages and then a blowjob...a few gay couples who liked a third every now and again...
But then, I expanded my horizons a bit more. I went to the Fetish Flea Fair weekend in Providence. I met a woman on a leash. She was dressed all in leather and she was STACKED. The leash was held by her husband. And this was my introduction to kink.
I had a good time with her several times over the next few months while her husband watched. He got off on it. She got off on him getting off on it. And to be honest, I got off on taking her in front of him.