Crocodile Bar

"Jimmy, get me another beer and get one for that crocodile while your at it!"

"What are you talking about give one to the crocodile Stanish, there's no crocodile in here. This is a bar for crying out loud!"

"That one lying out there by the door Jimmy. It's not hard to see, it's a bleeding crocodile for Christ's sake!"

"Thanks Harry, I see the bloody thing now. What do we do with it? I don't want to touch the thing. It'll bite my hand off."

"Jesus Jimmy, I told you I'd buy it a drink if you just let it in the door. I've never heard of a drunk croc attacking anyone. If you want, leave the first pint outside, let him drink it up, and then let him in once he's got a little liquor in him.

"Good thinking Stan. Anyone in here ever heard a story about a drunk croc attacking anyone?"




"Alright then. I'll leave it a pint then once it's a little loopy, let him in. At the end of the night, he'll just leave with the rest of us when last call's over."

"Looks drunk enough now boys, I think he can come in. Bruce, you want to open up the door for him? And bring in his glass while you're at it. If I'd known he was going to be so rough with it, I wouldn't have given him my favourite stein."

"Sure Jimmy."

"Oh, it looks like the croc might have taken a nip out of Bruce's hand. Why did he get so close to his mouth?"

"Sorry Jimmy, got a little blood on your floor. Poor guy was a little rattled by how close I was to him. Looks ok now though."

"Yeah give him another drink, that should lighten his mood a little."

"Ahh Christ, he got me too."

"Well why the hell are you guys teasing him like that Stan? Just put the beer in front of him quickly. Don't linger with it in your hand. He's a drunk croc for God's sake."

"God he's biting everyone now. Maybe we should leave him alone."

"You guys don't leave each other alone when you're drunk so why should we treat this guy any different. He's probably just not used to drinking. Never met a croc that could handle his beer."

"Oh, Jerry over there looks in a real bad state. Might have got a major artery. Oh, but don't worry jimmy, the croc's cleaning up the mess with his tongue."

"What's on the tele Jimmy, I'm getting bored by the croc."

"Think the croc bit the cable to pieces guys. nothing on TV tonight."

"Well I'm outta here then. Good luck closing up."

"Thanks Stan, take care of that wound."

"Just a finger, no big deal. Not even my drinking hand."

The End

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