Crazy, Broken, Lost control.Mature

I never knew life could be so hard, yet now i know it can get beyond impossible when you have no friends, no family, no-one to care. It turns to depression when you realise you have nothing in life, nothing to live for. Even if you see your life flash before your eyes, you see nothing to regret, nothing you didnt try to do. It seems that the bad things always happen to you, when you know, its just because you are the person you are. I am Naomi Evergreen.

Here at the Evergreen Mansion, i sit in one of the hundreds of rooms of the house, my bedroom the smallest or them all. Tears slowly fall down my emotion-less, empty face as i stare around the dull, cramped room. I get carefully to my feet, ignoring my slightly wobbling knees, as i open my grimy bedroom door. I quickly wipe away my tears with the back of my pale hand and step timidly out onto the dark, deserted landing, careful not to make a sound.

I struggle to make my breathing quiet as it becomes rasping, knowing that if i get found out, i would be in deep truble. I wished i could just close my eyes, i would feel safer if i could get away from the misery and torment that was my life. The stairs on the landing creak as i put my bony feet on the thin wood, i frighteningly desend the swirling staircase. I suddenly have a quick flashback of my life, my parents, died when i was a child, that was my worst memory, those times with my true family were the best days of my life and then the worst bit came i was left with my auntie while she pondered away with my families money like it was nothing to her, like she didnt care of her late sisters death. Sighing i bring my thoughts back to the present, i hurriedly jump down the last two stairs and run quickly to the kitchen trying not to make a sound.

The kitchen was deserted as deserted as the rest of the house seemed, i look quickly around the place as my hearts jackhammering my chest, to me it sounded as though it was echoing around the room, but on the whole, i couldn't tell. Timidly i pull pen the cutlery draw next to the sink, and pull out a small but sharp vegetable knife and walk back to the table, taking a seat on one of the grand dining room chairs. I watch the metal of the knife glinting in the moonlight, it looked beautiful, appealing. A single tear rolled down my cheek as i raised the knife to my wrist, letting it slide along the thin, pale kin there easily, feeling no pain coming from the area as it had been sliced open too many times before to have any effect. I watch as my blood trickles along my arm. Seeing the blood weave around made tiny raised goosebumps raise on my neck. Suddenly the knife slipped from my grip, and slid down my leg, i yelped in pain as it erupted though my protesting body. I look to the door horrified as i hear footsteps.

I jumped up from the chair to hide in the large pantry at the side of the kitchen, My legs started to shake again as the footsteps got louder and louder. I tried to stop the blood that was now flooding rapidly from my wrist and leg, biting my lip to stop myself from shouting out in pain again.
I breathed out a sigh of relief when the footsteps faded, and headed back up the stairs. I released the pressure i was holding on my wrist and looked down to see a small bool of blood at my feet, that had dripped from the slice in my leg, i stepped out from my dark hiding place and quickly ran to retrive a cloth to wipe up the blood that had dripped onto the floor. I didnt want to get found out.

As i mopped the blood my heart seemed to relax; the person must have thought they'd imagined the sound or my yelp. I let my hair cloud over my face and walked out of the kitchen still holding the cloth used to mop up my blood, i would dispose of it outside, I shivered as i opened the door to the garden, letting the cold wash over me. The ancient door creaked as i closed the door behind me, not wanting it to bang in the wind and i began to run out to one of the many bins we had.

I rushed through the darkness, eager to dispose of the bloody cloth, i stopped dead when i reached the first empty bin, trying not to make a sound as i pulled back the heavy lid, i dropped the cloth in it quickly and turned to head back to the house, but a little noise made me freeze and spin round to look behind me, i stopped breathing, as not to make a sound, i frowned slightly to peer down into the shadows, i was shocked to see a little frail kitten standing there, meowing pitifully, my shock froze on my face, i looked around me, though it seemed to be deserted, without thinking i lifted the kitten into my arms, and ran back into the house, trying to be as quiet as i could, i creeped up the stairs and into the safety of my bedroom.

I looked down at the little stray beauty that was rubbing round my legs, sighing i let my hand trail through its matted fur it started to pur and than yelped loudly nearly piercing my ear drums, i looked at the kitten surprised at the noise, then stiffened, listen to the faint creaking sounds from outside my door. There was a sound of a door slamming and i jumped, breathing loudly , i froze as i hear the noise of someone clearing their throat outside my bedroom door, I pulled the kitten into my arms, lying down in bed next to it, telling it to be quiet, like it could understand me, hearing the floor boards creaking made me shiver in fear, i lay still, holding my breath waiting for her, the wicked witch of the west, my aunt,  to check on me, i squeezed me eyes shut as the door handle twirled and i prayed to god for help.

As my breathing became rasping i clutched the little kitten tighter to my side making it yelp again, "Shhh" i whispered to it as the door handle clicked, the door creaking open in slow motion, i closed my eyes and rolled to the side pretending to sleep as not to arouse surspicision, the kitten seemed to be quiet like it knew what was happening and what was at stake if i was found out. My aunt took one step inside my room, then sneered with disgust at me, then slammed the door leaving the sound to echo round my room as my hair stood on end, i began to shake in terror and happiness at how close it had come to a confrentation, my aunt hated kittens as much as she hated everthing else except from her late husband whose ashes lay on a shelf above her bed, thinking about that always made me shudder, i looked down at my ktten and smiled seeing that it had fallen alseep, i decided to imitate the little toe-rag, and rested my head on the thin pillow, closing my eyes finally, and snuggling under the blankets.

The End

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