My clothes were packed. My toiletries were packed. Everything was crammed into the numerous suitcases sitting in the parlor of one of my two Arkansas summer houses.
Tomorrow was my last day. I didn't know whether I was relieved or...I don't know. I gave a long sigh as I drove toward the ranch. I honestly couldn't tell you what I was feeling or what was running through my mind. Lately, all I was was a deep vent of festering resentment and emotional turbulence.
The resentment was toward Chloe, obviously. I refused to talk to her, and it was hard because, well, she was my sister. But the turbulence was mainly aimed toward Luke. On one hand, I'd really liked him. That hand was disintigrating now. On the other hand, I was furious with myself for thinking I could ever trust a guy not to hurt me. Who was I kidding? All highschool guys were stupid, immature, and self-centered. Something bad goes wrong in their life and it's the end of the world. God forbid something goes wrong in a girl's life-then it's just karma! What the hell ever.
I was so over guys. I mean I'm not saying I'm going to go for girls now, because I'm not. I don't play for that team. I'm just saying that I've accepted, even embraced, the fact that I'm probably going to spend the rest of my life alone. What's it matter anyway? Things are better, easier, when you're alone...
Luke and I worked in an awkward silence, yet again. The house was completed by now, and it looked exactly as it had before I'd crashed into it. The only difference, really, was the scent of new paint. Right now, all we were working on was finally removing every last piece of debris that had flown out of the house when my car had destroyed it. Chloe wasn't here today, for once. She was currently at the gynocologist. Maybe she was pregnant. I kept hoping that with a vehemenant sort of hiss in my mind. I wouldn't doubt it if she'd already screwed Luke. Wouldn't surprise me at all. It made it easier knowing that, because tomorrow when I leave and never see Luke again, I won't want to. I could never touch a guy who'd touched and been touched by my satanic sister.
"Hey..." Luke's voice sounded from close behind me, jolting me out of my thoughts. I turned, blinked up at him. "Can we talk?"
He looked hesitant. Those warm brown eyes of his were uncertain. I tried to think coldly as I gazed up at him. He still had a babyness to him at seventeen. How stupid. Okay, that didn't really work. Sigh.
"I wanted to apologize. I didn't..." His voice trailed off under my glare. He swallowed and switched the approach. "Look, I don't want to leave things as they are."
I studied him as I bit my bottom lip. I didn't wanted to give him the satisfaction of getting what he wanted, but I didn't want to leave things so messy either. I suppose I'll just have to bite the bullet.
"Fine." I nodded. I frowned when he only stared at me. "What?"
"Fine is the women's implied 'screw you'." he said, sounding both rueful and tentative.
I shook my head. "Think what you want. I don't care anymore."
He didn't call me back as I walked away.