"Mason! Were home." I heard my dad yell.
After Michael left, I went into my room to lay in bed. Pain was flowing through my veins, intoxicating me into a deep depression. Today's been horrible and I can't imagine my day becoming any worse.
I feel so...dirty. My whole body is full of marks and bruises, reminding me of what just happened only hours before. I push the covers over my head and lower myself down the bed, wishing I could just drift away in a sea of sheets.
"10:35" The clock said.
I had been tossing and turning all day since I went into bed earlier in the afternoon, unable to get sleep. But how could I when all I saw when I shut my eyes was Princeton on top of me.
Nothing felt real- I felt so detached from the world. The only thing I did know that was real was what Princeton did to me. I felt like I was in my own little world. With my own little problems, and own little house with my own little company.
Shutting my eyes, I pushed myself to get some sleep, Princeton's eyes locked on mine in my sleep. I felt like I was putting myself through torture, pushing myself to sleep because all I saw was him, and I don't want that. I don't want his eyes on mine, his presence in my presence.
His tight grip on my wrists, hot breath on my face, dirty words in my ears, it was all too much.
Eventually, the torture was over because it was time for me to get u and go to school, the place I was dreading right now. What if Princeton's at school today. I shuddered and pushed the thought out of my mind.
After I got dressed, I walked down stairs and didn't even bother to go into the kitchen. My converse step-step-stepping on the hard wood until I got to the peg by the door and grabbed my book bag.
"Maso-" I heard part of my name before I shut the door. Not caring if it was dad or Dax, who I doubt would be calling if anyone me, I walked to my car and started the engine, driving to school. I got to a stop sign and noticed it was right next to Bonnie's house.
Looking to the right, I noticed she was sitting on the steps. I noticed she was staring right at me into my eyes, as if begging me to come tell her she was forgiven, and she can hop right into my car as if nothing happened.
Taking my foot off the break, I drove down the street.
My heart stopped beating when I saw leave in her car. She must really hate me.
But how couldn't she? Huffing, I got up to walk to school, my thoughts swimming through my head.
"Hey princess!" I turned to my left to see Jeremy stopped in front of the sidewalk. Laughing to myself, I ran up to his car and opened the door getting in.
"Hey, don't I get a kiss? I am driving you to school you know." I laughed and kissed his moist lips.
"Hey baby, what's wrong?" It's funny how Jeremy always know when somethings wrong with me.
"I just....nothing." I muttered, exasperated with myself. This conversation would only lead to an array of feelings I wasn't ready to show Jeremy just yet. I don't need him thinking I'm an emotional freak.
"No...it's not nothing." He looked over at me for a second before turning his attention back on the road ahead.
"Jerr, please just... don't push it, okay? I'll tell you when I'm ready." I sighed, turning my head to the side to look at him. Looking back to me, he smirked before shaking his head, dropping it, which I was thankful for.
Stopping the Range Rover into a parking space, Jeremy got out the car. I hopped out the seat and walked over to Jeremy, who was waiting for me in front of the car. Jogging over to him, I wrapped my left arm around his waist as his right arm draped over my shoulder, taking my book bag from me and putting it on his free shoulder.
"Why don't you ever have a book bag?" I wondered out loud, pulling my brows together.
He scoffed. "Babe, I don't do homework." I just shook my head at him lowering my gaze towards the ground.
"Hey, I forgot to mention. So your calling me Jerr now?" Jeremy looked down at me, smirking and looking at me. I dropped my head to advert from his gaze and shook my head.
"Yeah, I guess so. Yeah actually. I like Jerr, Jeremy's too big a mouthful." I laughed.
"How do you know I'm a mouthful?" He looked down again.
Widening my eyes in realization to what he meant- a sexual slur. I pushed his body away from mine choking on the spit in my throat.
Trying to push away from him, I failed as he caught a tight grip on my flying arms and brought them back around his body, pulling me into him and laughing.
"Your such a perv." I sneered jokingly.
"Mmm, you have no idea." I smirked. I turned from him and noticed Mason was getting out her car. My smile faded.
Noticing my discomfort, Jeremy looked down at me and then at Mason, shaking his head in understanding.
"So that's what you were upset about." He looked straight forward. I didn't answer, my silence was loud enough an answer. I just fixed my gaze on the passing teenagers as my head rested against Jeremy. I found it so sweet how in such little time Jerr was able to make me happy again.
"Jeremy?" I looked up once we got to the doors of the school and he opened them.
"Hm?" He opened the doors.
"I think I'm gonna call you Jerr bear."
Jerr bear started laughing and he let go of me to open yet another door. The doos in front of the school lead a little room full of windows so you had to open yet another wall of doors to get into the actual school, not the room of windows.
"Okay, I like that. But if i'm your bear, yo gotta be my honey." He smiled at me.
" I love...our conversations." I quickly covered up my comment. I can't tell him I love him now! I just actuall got with him a few weeks ago. And he's a gangster.... I don't know if he loves for real or if he's just using me to get into my pants.
Walking into the school, I decided I was done being mad at Bon Ton. She's my sandbox buddy and I can tell she's really hurt and sorry about what she did. I can't put her through all this guilt.
"Bonnie?" I questioned, once I saw her enter the school, Jeremy clinging onto her. I smiled a little to myself at their cutness. I wish I could have that with Michael but he's so much work. It's gonna take a lot to get him to trust me, which I plan on having happen really soon.
Jeremy whispered a little goodbye to Bonnie before kissing her cheek and leaving. "Hey Massy." He smirked.
"Hey." I laughed before he walked away, going to Trent who was waiting next to the office in the front of the school.
Adverting her gaze from Jeremy, Bonnie walked over to me, waiting. Not thinking, just acting, I hugged her tightly, which she gladly returned.
"I've missed you. I wanted to say I'm sorry but you left. I really didn't mean to hurt you."
"Shh." I whispered, pulling away from her. "I know your sorry and your forgiven. Your my sandbox buddy." She smirked as I did the same. "I had to forgive you. And I missed you too, which is why we should hang out after field hockey practice."
Smiling, we started walking to our class together. "Coach is going to kill me."
"Why?" Bonnie asked.
"Because I haven't been to practice for a while." I muttered.
"Oh well. The worst she could do is kick you off the team."
"Uh, thanks for the honesty!" I pushed her shoulder, seriously worried.
"Oh please!" She scoffed. "Me and you both know she won't kick you off the team. She'd be losing a good player."
I sighed. "Thanks. Now lets get to class, the bell rings in about....five seconds!" Me and Bonnie started laughing, running to our first period class- stupid ass French with Ms. Khalojacheck. Pronounced calo-j-check.
Me and Bonnie walked into the mall, planning to eat in there.
Sitting down with our food, we immediately started chatting it up.
"So much has happened these passed two days, I don't know where to start." I admitted sheepishly.
"Well, spill the beans! I want to know everything that's happened since, you know." She finished there, sticking a piece of broccoli in her mouth.
"Well for one, the way I found out about my sister is my mom. She's at rehab." Bonnie almost spat her food on the table.
"She's what? Oh Mason i'm so sorry. I should have been there but instead I was alone being a bad friend." She muttered the last part. I shook my head smirking.
"Put that behind you already! I forgave you."
"Which I'm thankful for. Now continue."
"Well, she told me she was drinking to cope with the loss of her dead daughter." I sighed, sticking the orange chicken that was on my fork into my mouth and taking a sip of my smoothie.
"Wow."Was all that came out of Bon Ton's mouth.
"And something happened also..." Was I really ready to say what happened between me and Princeton? It's only happened less than 24 hours ago and I can't even speak to myself about it, let alone someone else. But I can trust Bonnie so I'll just spill. Plus it's killing me to keep it inside of me.
"Princeton.... he-raped me..?" It came out more as a forced questioned. But it felt good to let someone know. Bonnie's chicken fell out her mouth and her eyes widened. Putting her hand on my hand, she just shook her head. No words were needed. I could tell she was sorry it happened.
"Um...how do we move on from this?" I chuckled lightly. "How's you and Jeremy? I saw you two laughing together when you were supposed to be discussing Romeo and Juliet." I raised a brow at her.
"I know it's just, he make me happy. I was so sad this morning and he made me forget about it for at least just a second." She smiled to her self.
"I'm happy for you. I can't do that with Michael, I don't even know what we are." I sighed, sitting back in my chair and crossing my arms.
"Explain...." Bonnie spoke up waiting for me to retaliate.
"It's going to take a lot before he trusts me, I can tell. He's so distanced and when I was...hurt by Princeton, he saw that. And he tried to help me and console me but I felt so...vulnerable. He saw me in a vulnerable state and I don't know how i'll be able to face him again." I confessed.
"First off, I didn't know he walked in on you....?"
"Yeah, well he did. I think he's been hurt before me. Maybe by a girl?"
"Why do you say that?"
"He said he doesn't believe in love." I stated simply.
"Woah... that blows." Bon Ton sat back too this time.
"Only someone who was hurt would say that. I can't stand him touching me and stuff. All I see when he does is Princeton, as bad as it sounds." I sighed for the millionth time today, shutting my eyes.
"That doesn't sound bad, Mason. You were hurt by him. It's going to take a lot before you let a guy get close with you and if he can't wait then move on."
"I can't just move on from him, he's so good to me and I can tell it's out of his nature."
"Then he does love you."
"But he said he doesn't believe in love."
"Oh well! Maybe he's making an inception for you." My belly swarmed with butterflies at the thought of Michael being a good boy only for me.
"We should probably head out. It's seven and we have an essay due!" We got our things together. Soon, I dropped Bonnie off and I was at home myself.
Walking through the door, I was met by my dad's gaze.
"Your late for dinner." He stated simply, looking down at his plate instead of me, Dax looking down also. My heart dropped at the sight of such a joyful little boy sad.
"I already ate with Bonnie." I spoke up, dropping my stuff on the peg but bringing my bag since I need my laptop for my essay.
"You should have told me!" He looked up at me.
"What's your problem?" I muttered my thoughts out loud.
"My problem is you haven't spoken to this family since Saturday and you have the nerve to push us away as if you don't live in this house!"
"You call this a family?" I yelled back, equally as heated. "And exactly how could this be my fault if you left the whole day yesterday and I was left here to be on my own! You weren't worried about me then, were you?"
He kept silent, just gazing over at me.
" You kept yourself from the remainder of the family. We need to stick together now more than ever with you mother gone."
"I gotta go do my essay." I finished the argument and walked passed the table, up to my room.
Three days later.
I sat on my bed, watching re-runs of The Vampire Diaries.
I turned my head in confusion towards my window. My heart dropped at the though that he might be back... Princeton might be back.
"Mason!" Someone whisper yelled.
Walking cautiously over to the window, I opened it seeing it was Michael.
Falling into the room and landing on top of me, we broke out laughing. Hovering over me, my body tensed up once I saw what position he was in. Pictures of Princeton filled my mind. My toes curled up and my eyes shut tight, urging myself to get over the fact that he hurt me and that Michael wouldn't do that.
Feeling a heated body climb off of me, I relaxed. Opening my eyes, I stood up and walked over to the window, closing it.
"You know, I'm trying Mason! I'm really fucking trying." Michael startled me with his yelling. Is he crazy? Doesn't he remember that I live with two other people in the house, one of them being my dad?
"W-what?" I questioned confused.
"I'm not Princeton! I'm not going to hurt you." He sat up from the bed, his hands on his hips.
"No! Let me finish." He yelled.
"No! Let me finish!" I yelled back. "Do you know how it felt when I saw you over there? I was exposed and I couldn't even get myself to cover up! I was shocked and felt like a little baby getting dressed up and cleaned by you! I'm used to being independent and doing things for myself but when you saw me....naked it was as if my heart was put on blast right before your eyes!" I screamed. Thank God these walls were thick or else my dad would have been in here by now.
He kept silent.
"It-it hurt. What he did to me." I shut my eyes, urging myself to continue. He needed to hear this. To understand why I couldn't go near him. "I wanted so badly to go to you after that day Michael, you have no idea how bad but- I didn't, I don't, know what we are. What do you take me as? Huh? Because honestly, Michael, I'm falling for you but I don't know if you'll catch me." I sighed, opening my eyes.
Walking over to me, Michael looked into my eyes, a smirk tugging at the ends of his lips.
"Is it okay if I call you my girl?" He asked. I felt butterflies build up into my stomach.
"Well is it okay if I call you my boy?" I retaliated, scoring points on my part.
"What ever makes you happy baby." He smiled, leaning down. "Can I?" He questioned once his lips reached mine. He was asking if he could kiss me. It made me feel so loved. I just shook my head. I was slowly letting him back in, now it's just a matter of time before he lets me in and tells me what happened to me, and if he can love again.