The gloves made a hollow thud as he dropped them onto the floor. He took a sip from the water bottle that he had brought with him as he paced around the room. The bottle ran out long before his mind stopped racing and his feet protested long before he was ready to sit still but he sank to the floor anyway. It started with his head in his hands, deep breaths making his chest rise and fall. He wanted to calm his heart beat, needed to still his mind but as he sat there tears began to fall from his eyes. He never expected to cry, he didn't even know that he was fighting it, but now that it had started he didn't think that he could stop it. 'I don't know what to do,' he thought as he ran a hand through his hair. 'I don't know how to fix this.' Ryuji couldn't remember the last time he cried, probably not since he was a child, and he felt ashamed to be crying now. He was supposed to be strong but at the moment he was hopelessly lost.
"Damn it," he whispered as he leaned back against the wall. He didn't know how long he was sitting there when he felt two hands touch his knees. He tensed up without thinking but quickly relaxed.
"What's wrong baby? Why are you crying?" she asked, her fingers drawing soft patterns on his knee caps. He spread his legs slightly so that she could rest between them, her fingers wiping some of the tears from his face. The gesture just made the tears fall faster, he was embarrassed that she had found him in this position, so confused and scared that he couldn't even form a coherent sentence. He didn't answer her right away, couldn't answer; he just let her continue drawing patterns on his skin, reveling in the tenderness. Right then he wanted nothing more than to hold her, to tell her that everything would be okay, but he wasn't sure that was true and it was killing him. When her lips touched his own hesitantly it made him want to scream, he wanted so badly to know the right things to say, the right things to do to make it okay. Her hands came up to cup his face, her thumbs wiping away the remaining tears.
"I don't know what to do," he whispered, his voice cracking from the tears. "I don't know how to make it better." He felt her lean against his chest, his arms instinctively wrapping around her. The fabric of his shirt became wet as her own tears began to fall, his arms tightening around her in a protective embrace. He rested his forehead against the top of her head, it was all he could do.