Saturday came, slowly and suddenly. My hunger was unfed and grew like a fiendish seed beneath the exterior which I held so composed and untouched like the air. I knew not of the substance which made me feel this sense of hunger and was puzzled as to what in the world could satisfy it. And I was restless, just as restless as the madman, Corban.
He hardly slept for the fear of another nightmare taunting him. But sometimes even after large quantities of coffee he would end up drifting to the other side, his sleep and wake up disappointed with himself. Repeatedly calling himself a failure. At times I'd find him knocking his head on the wall until a crack emerged on the wall, then he'd smile and cry. He'd know that he still existed. He had proof.
Sometimes I think he'd know about me. That I was there. He stare and stare hard at me but really he was looking through me, deep in thought.
Saturday is come and we find ourselves in the car driving from work in another direction than usual. Corban sighed, I find him doing that a lot. I sighed too but it was unheard. Even I failed to hear it.
We eventually arrived at a hospital near the outside of town. It was a white building starting to show the signs of age. The sun was setting behind it forcing an odd fleshy pink colour on the building. Corban got out wasting no time and I followed in his shadow.
We found a petite blonde girl with glasses sitting behind the reception desk. Her eyes you couldn't see because the reflection of the computer screen was too bright on her lenses. This flickered from time to time. Her face expressionless and lips pouted. Suddenly they parted and she spoke in a high pitched voice.
"Hi. Can I help you?"
"Yes, I've come to see my brother. Can you please tell me where he is. His name is Callum James." He said with a slight tone of desperation. Corban stood waiting whilst she flickered the screen some more. People crept in one by one behind us.
"Callum James.." she said, no idea whether she was looking at us, the computer or the ceiling,"Sorry Sir, Callum James doesn't seem to be on our database and I don't ever remember a Callum James ever checking in" she added the last part so that he wouldn't bug her any further. There were other people waiting...
"WELL CHECK AGAIN!" shouted Corban, "Look...Madam...he's only a small boy. Maybe he's ran away or something."
And then I caught a familiar expression on her face. The very same expression I saw on Dr Cameron's and Dr Singh's. It was the I-think-you've-gone-totally-nuts look. She was about to burst into laughter but held it probably for a special occassion with her friends.
"Sir...I don't mean to be rude but it's a saturday night and there's a long queue of people in need-"
"I DON'T CARE YOU F-"
The security guards' got his attention and now he's everybody's fool. They drag him away like an untamed animal, like waste.
He layed on the ground outside near the automatic doors. Humiliation sunk into his skin like sharp needles. He looked down at the back of his hand and caught a tear with it. People walked by in their grey coats. All their face bore the same expression of sadness, a tinge of pride and somewhat disgust. At least now they had someone to poke fun at. That was always important.
I stood in a nearby shadow having a smoke contemplating on where I would rather be. Maybe heaven. Maybe one I'll find myself soaring high in heaven.
That night we drove for hours. Dangerously fast. He was after something. He needed the answers, he needed his brother.
After endless hours of driving. He reached his destination. A surburban town where the house stood side by side like soldiers on the front line. Grey and half dead looking in the night.
Corban parked in the driveway and got out in a rush outside one of those houses. I preferred to stay in the car with the window open. He banged on the door with his fist a few times until the door was opened. A balding beer-bellied man opened the door. He gave Corban a queer, concerned look.
"Where's Callum? Why is he not in hospital anymore?" He blurted out as if he couldn't keep it in much longer.
"Calm down, son" He said gruffly still holding that queer expression on his face. "You should go home and have a rest, you look tired."
"WHERE.IS.CALLUM?" He's agitated now. And there it was again, that you've-gone-nuts-look on his own father's face. But Corban couldn't tell.
"Go home. And rest." He said with conviction and slammed the door on Corban's face.
Corban sighed. He looked at his watch. It was past midnight, the clock in the car said so. It glowed mystically in the darkness. He turned round and saw me in the driver's seat, finally.
"Hey! Get outta my car!" He screamed
"Don't shout. Nobody can hear you." I chuckled
He trembled in fear and hesitation.
"Jump in Corbs, let me take you for a ride!"