Homer was amazed; Haydon was here early, again. Homer parked his Blazer behind Haydon's pickup. He could see Haydon sitting behind the wheel reading. Getting out, Homer approached the driver side of the old white pickup. He tiptoed up and slammed his hand against the truck door. Haydon jumped, dropping his paperback in his lap. "Homer, you asshole, you scared the shit out of me." Homer roared with laughter. "You reading a history book again?" then he looked down at his hand, and the brown smear on his fingers.
Homer wiped his fingers on the grass, "Oh, man! You got tobacco juice all over your door. You're gonna have to learn to spit a little farther."
Haydon climbed out of the truck, "It serves you right -- asshole-- and no, I wasn't reading about history, just a good old western." Unfolding the cheat sheet, he said, " You ever heard of Herbert Hoover? That's who we're diggin' for today."
Homer lit a camel. "I'd thought he'd died, about, what? A hundred years ago."
"Naw, this ain't that Hoover," Haydon said. "But you ain't gonna like it, we gotta dig an eight foot hole today."
Homer blew out a plume of smoke. "Why so deep?"
"I guess Mrs. Hoover wants to be buried on top of him when she passes."
Homer walked back toward his Blazer. "I'll get my shovel."
The two gravediggers dug without talking, stopping only occasionally for a drink of water or a smoke break. The birds singing, the sky a crystal clear blue overhead, all went unnoticed as the two men dug. At six feet, they crawled out to eat their lunch.
Haydon enjoyed his ham sandwich, chips, peanut butter cookie, and thermos of hot coffee. Homer's lunch consisted of a thermos of hot chili, and crackers; however, his wife forgot to give him a spoon. Using the crackers as a spoon he managed to get down most of the chili.
After lunch the two friends climbed back into the grave site, to dig the final two feet. Homer dug his shovel into the soft earth and hit something hard, he re-positioned his shovel and tried again with the same result; two more times he tried, before cursing.
Haydon said, "Hom, what are you bitchin' about now?"
"We got something big here. Crap, only a foot to go and we get a big rock."
The two men scooped earth, until suddenly they stopped and stared at each other. Emerging from the depths was the top of a metal box. The men got to their knees, and with their fingers, they brushed away the last of the dirt. The box was three feet by two feet. With a little more careful digging and they managed to free the box. Homer tried to lift it. "Haydon, I'm gonna need some help here. This sucker is heavy."
On each end of the box was handle. Grabbing the handles the two men managed to lift the box out of it's hole. "Wow," said Homer. "You think we found a buried treasure?
"I don't know," said Haydon as he cleared away dirt from a large padlock. "Lookie here." Imprinted on the lock were the letters C..S.A.
The two men struggled with the heavy box, but finally got it out of the grave site. Collapsing on the grass they gasped for breath.
Homer, trying to catch his breath, said, "I gotta quit smoking."
Haydon sat up, put on hand on the box, and said, "We gotta get this out of sight."
Homer cast his eyes around the cemetery. "There ain't nobody here Hayd' but me and you."
"I'd feel safer if we got this out of sight. Can we put it in the back of your Blazer?"
"Sure," said Homer, getting to his feet. "This thing's heavy. Maybe we got us some gold"
"Let's just get it out of sight," said Haydon.