This Ordinary LifeMature

In London, the studio for the show "This Ordinary Life" quietened. Jeremy Heights swallowed and skipped onto the stage, massive lights blinding him. The audience roared with delight as he sat down behind a table, tossing his thick blond hair back. Jeremy yelled in an English accent "Nice to see you too, alright, we've got a wonderful show for you tonight!" The audience quietened and listened intently.

Jeremy leaned back and stated "So, first of, the Natzis have invaded Birmingham again!" A projector turned on, showing the US presidents face in Birhmingham. Laughter filled the room. Jeremy shrugged and mumbled "Well, close enough. So America, where everyone has their dreams fulfilled, is under attack from itself! Listen to the presidents speech!"

Behind Jeremy, a video of the US president appeared on the wall. The president stated "Our national security is at stake every day and only massive, micromanaging action can take care of this issue. So, today, I am announcing that every home will have a" the video cut out, replaced by a picture of a robot eating a human. The audience laughed. 

Jeremy chuckled and yelled "Well, it may not be ravenous robots keeping their security in check, but it is something more invasive! They are putting a soldier in every home across America!"

Jeremy smiled and cutely said "Now little Jimmy gets to learn how to beat up foreigners."

The audience went quiet, except for a few "Boos". 

Jeremy swallowed hard, his voice started getting louder "Besides, isn't the point of terrorism to inflict terror across an entire nation, not a neighborhood?! Isn't the US creating terror across their nation with soldiers in every home?!" 

The audience cheered. Jeremy smiled and kept yelling "They are not a democracy, they're a bloody dictatorship!" Feet pounded the floor, shaking the room.

A full minute passed before the audience quietened down. Jeremy leaned back and coughed. He then stated "Also, our great Britain is threatening to sanction America and may petition to remove them from the UN. Trust me when I say that removing them from the UN will make a world of difference. Remember that one time in Rowanda?"

The audience gasped "Oooooohhhhhh". 

Jeremy shook his head and stated "At any rate, I have very little hope for America. As for Canada, well, here's the story."

A video appeared, showing the Canadian prime minister. He stared at the camera, bags underneath his red eyes, un-tidy and greasy black hair hanging in front of his nose. He closed his eyes and stated "Trade between us and America is smoothed out. All of their imports will be lightly taxed from now on and they may drill in the arctic without prior knowledge."

Jeremy shook his head and mumbled "We'll be right back."

The camera zoomed out and the show cut to commercials. 

The End

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