Red BellevueMature

What kind of astronaut needs to carry a gun?
a paranoid one.

My name is Red, I am a Recon and Communications Specialist with the HUBRIST division of the Tri-Federation. I am currently headed for a planet called "Konduin". If my intel is not outdated, there should be only one small settlement on Konduin's surface, a 100 year old village known as "Djinwud". The locals are supposed to be good friendly people but I feel that it is not smart to leave my gun in the ship. I'm descending unto the surface of Konduin now. After I log an entry in the databook I will suit up and go see if I can find anyone to inquire with.

Databook entry:
exactly 1400 hours, I have arrived at Konduin's "Barebones Landing"
Oxygen is 100%, sustenance levels are good
no damage to report
no injury to report.

I can see a few people standing around in a yard next to a large house, though I cannot see what they are doing. As i approach them they each turn to face me and begin waving and calling out, it sounds as if they are speaking a different language but my intel says their "native tongue is *english", although there is a footnote:

*Nearly incomprehensible local slang and mild accents

That must be what i'm hearing. It sounds... friendly enough- though I recall another species that looked friendly known as the Big Cats of Earth, My first encounter with a "Tiger" was rather unpleasant. -but I should still take precautions. they were shouting, what sounded like warm greetings, I'll need to check my databooks built in translation hardware.

Power ON: 89%
Language: Konduin Native (Slang pack 1.1&2.1)


"OH DICK! look some stovepipers wantlerin out the witward, HEY BUDDY! come on djinwords n'gimmie a chooch'n a gurgle!"


"OH WOW! Look there is a man coming from over there, HEY FRIEND! come over here and have a smoke and a drink."

Wha- how?... I guess this translator is going to come in handy...

Power ON: 89%
Language: Konduin Native (Slang pack 1.1&2.1)


"Hello, My name is Red Bellevue, I am a Recon and Communications specialist for the HUBRIST division of the Tri-Federation. I'm here on a special order searching for a list, a specific list, I'm sure you understand. Can you tell me what you know?"



What?! why is it not working now? what the hell happened?!

"Maybe it didn't work because we speak English, that's a slang pack you have installed yeah?"

Huh?.. you.. you can speak perfect English? 

One of the people in the group stepped forward, he was tall and thin, he wore thick glasses and a baseball cap over medium brownish red bushy hair, he also had a long goatee. he was wearing suspenders as well as a belt which struck me as a bit odd. 

"You've got a slang pack installed on your databook translator eh?" the man said

"well yes but its additional i mean, it should still translate everything else" 

"you didnt say anything that needed translating i guess." he muttered "Anywords what do ya say we head into the grahge and chooch it?"

"What?! I don't understand!" 

"you'll catch on bud just keep your antlers open!" the man called back as he and the others were already heading toward a large garage that could have easily been a small warehouse.

I followed, They seem sane enough, just a strange albeit interesting, way of speaking. Anyways i was curious to find out if they knew anything about the list, not to mention to find out what "chooching it" was.

The End

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