Confessions of A Teenage Slayer

    Alright, so first of all I'd like to clean up a major misconception. When people think of the word slayer, they instantly think to Buffy, and all that vampire slaying junk, blah blah blah, I'm in love with vampires, and save the world stuff.

    Well I'm telling you now its not all sunshine and daisies as that show makes it, its killing, and blood, and goo, and there was this one time that this thing spewed out green blood. I mean what is that? What need would a monster have for green blood? And it got all over my white shirt...

    That brings up my other point. Slaying has nothing to do with strictly vampires. Sure I've met a few, but they are not exactly what you think, there is no sexy model vampires waiting to take on a soul or something like that.

    In fact I'd say they smell, rank, you know all that rotting blood around their mouths, but thats just my opinion.

    Look maybe I should just introduce myself first before I start going on about this. My name is Alex, Alex Winter. My best friend Jackson and I slay monsters together.

    Well I use the term together loosely. I mean don't get me wrong Jackson is a good friend. He's loyal, and smart, he's....a complete coward. But he's good at finding them.

    Let me give you an example. My first slay, first time out in the field, Jackson was with me of course, and you know we went and hunted out this Aquila Monster. You know what I mean, nasty thing, able to take on human form and then turn into this really disgusting looking bird thing...okay well you'd have to be there.

    Anyways we get there, we face this guy, he turns into birdman here and what does Jackson do? He bolts, instantly, like he didn't even wait for the guy to finish transforming. Of course I wasn't much better. All I could say was, 'Ah...I..' and then I bolted.

    Needless to say he chased us and it made for an interesting night.

    So there, I mean there, we don't hunt strictly vampires at all. I really retain the fact that I could totally sue the pants off Joss Whedon, and his whole Buffy thing. You know if I could actually tell people knowing they would believe me.

    Yeah I used to watch it when I was younger but now it totally offends me as a Slayer. So I've boycotted the show...except when the halloween episodes are on.

    So alright, you're probably wondering how I got this way in the first place right? Well first of all I'll tell you I wasn't the 'Chosen One' or any junk like that.

    And it wasn't like that supernatural show where my Dad hunted demons or something and I had to take on the family business. It actually happened by accident.

    Okay maybe I should just start at the beginning...

The End

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