Allison found herself confronted with the one aisle she usually studiously avoided in the pharmacy. There were multiple reasons for that: yeast infection kits made her feel bad for those women who had to buy them; pregnancy tests sent her into a mild panic at the thought she might need one before she was ready; and condoms. It might seem ridiculous, but condoms were the things that frightened her most of all.
It was not so much that Allison was frightened of condoms in and of themselves. She was staunchly pro-condom when it came to making love. It was a dangerous world out there and using condoms was just responsible. She tried to consider them a practicality in the midst of sex, as long as she didn't have to be involved in putting them on. She very much anticipated the day when she could stop encountering them altogether, the day she was in a committed relationship and they were ready to face the risk of pregnancy.
Allison's problem with condoms was in having to look at them. Putting on a condom was not sexy. The disposal afterward was guaranteed to ruin the moment for her. She really didn't want to think about them in a concrete way. Or buy them. To this point, she had managed to avoid buying condoms. She had almost gone through with it once, snatching a random box from the display, but when she'd looked down at it and it said something about "ribbed" and then she'd seen the woman at the counter, the older lady that reminded her of her mother, she had hidden the box behind some cleaning supplies and quickly left.
Tonight, however, she was trying to be more... something. She wasn't quite sure how to put it into words, she just felt like Roger would appreciate a woman who could buy a box of condoms.
Roger. Her lips curved in a sweet smile when she thought about him. He was the whole reason she was in the pharmacy in the first place. She was fairly certain that tonight was the night. She was hoping it was, at least. Their first time making love. It was exciting, thrilling! It was also a bit terrifying. She was fairly certain he was more experienced than she was, not that she was a virgin. But still. He was mostly fairly ordinary, there was just something about him though. A something that made her think that the women he usually made love with had no problems buying a box of condoms.
She could do this, she really could. Okay, time to actually look at the boxes, not just panic at simply standing in front of them. Grabbing one box, holding it closer so she could read the extra printing on the box, her eyes widened. She had had no idea that condoms came in extra-large. For just a moment she thought that would be rather fun if Roger needed those. Then she reconsidered. That might be rather intimidating and she was feeling nervous already. Hastily she put that box back then grabbed another one.
Ribbed. Wait, ribbed? She was quite sure no guy she had been with had ever had ribbed condoms. It seemed like an awful lot of extra fuss. Looking down at the box, then casting a hasty glance down the aisle to assure herself nobody was watching, she looked at the box again. "Ribbed for her pleasure." That sounded good, and a little kinky. It might even be fun.
What if Roger didn't like those though? Would he think she expected him to be only mediocre and was hoping the condoms would make up for it? Nope. Not those. She shoved the box back onto the hook and grabbed another one.
The back of her neck prickled and she was sure someone was watching her. What if someone she knew showed up? What if one of her mother's friends wandered into this pharmacy, this aisle, for some odd reason? That would be awful!
At that point she almost bolted again, pondering shoving the box into a candy display. Then she sucked in a deep breath. No. She could do this. She didn't want Roger to think she was the kind of woman who couldn't buy condoms, even if she was. It seemed like a good way to prove that she did want to go through with it.
Looking down at the box in her hand her eyes widened again. The box clearly said that the condoms were desensitizing. Wasn't that, well, the opposite of the point? The purpose behind using desensitizing condoms occurred to her and her lips parted in a silent "o" for a moment. Now that would be awful. What if Roger had that problem? Oh dear! She definitely couldn't buy those.
Another package caught her eye and she blinked, then carefully took one. A condom with a vibrator? Guiltily she looked around, her shoulders hunching just a little. At that moment a man came down the aisle and she spun quickly, looking at the wall across from the condoms. It wasn't much better. Why they thought that children's medications should be across from condom she had no idea. Hastily she covered the package in her hands and looked down at her toes until the man was past her, disappearing down another aisle.
Looking back at the package she considered very carefully. It said it was for the man and the woman. She had never held a vibrator before, let alone one with a condom. That was definitely kinky. But would Roger like it, or be offended? More, could she even go through with sex with a guy wearing a vibrator on his... thing?
Enough of this. She put the box back and quickly skimmed. Plain condoms. That was the safest thing she could think of. No reason to be offended by them. Not very adventurous, but she could only manage so many steps at a time. Just buying condoms was going to be a big enough step without deciding on something new.
It took some time but she found two options for regular condoms: a 3-pack and a 12-pack. More decisions. How was this so complicated? Alright. Think about this. A 3-pack was less intimidating. But it lacked the feeling that she was planning on this happening again. It felt a bit like a tester, as though she was giving him this chance to do it right and if not that was it. It was a minor investment.
The 12-pack, on the other hand, was a bit scary. Would Roger feel that she thought he should get through as many condoms as possible tonight? Or if it did go badly, what was she supposed to do with the other 11 condoms in the pack?
She looked at the two boxes in her hands, indecision clear in every line of her body. Quickly she turned her wrist, looking at her watch. 45 minutes until she was supposed to meet Roger. Think, Allie. This isn't so hard. Just pick one.