I looked down on the recliner. I could not see my feet. There was a huge bump in the way. I reached out to rub my bulging stomach. In small circles I pet it, and then felt a nudge. My little nudger. I smiled at the thought. And then the hopelessness hit me. The feeling that if one of us was to survive, my baby or me, the other wouldn't. My smile disappeared. I turned cold, and my revolving hand froze in place. Why had this happened? What had I done to deserve this?
Well, I knew what I had done, that was obvious. And it wasn't a thing I could control anyway. I needed Edward, and he needed me, simple as that. And if this, I looked to my torso, was what I needed to pay to fulfill the price, I would gladly accept it.
I felt pressure around my arms. I looked over next to me to see a patch of black. I raised my free hand to touch it. It was wet and matted, but I didn't mind it. My own personal sun was warming me.
"Hi Jake," I whispered softly. Jacob Black's head snapped up. His eyes were tired, but concerned. I could tell he was exhausted.
"Geez, I'm sorry Bells. Did I wake you up?" I chuckled and was surprised at my voice. It was crackly and dry. Then I noticed my hand on his head. It was purple, almost translucent against the darkest of brown hairs. The bones were protruding from the skin which was fragile and flaky. For a second I gaped in horror, but compromised my face. I couldn't let anyone see me acting like this. The only place that I was safe to show my true feelings was inside my head.
"No Jake, I'm fine. Anyway, it looks like you're the one who needs the rest." I smiled and pain instantly contorted my face. I tried to fix it, to erase the pain, but it was so difficult! It hurt so bad! Jacob looked even worse than I felt. His droopy eyes were bloodshot an d watery now. His deep lips were set in a scowl, and his cheeks were red underneath the hard tan.
"No, Bella, you need the rest. Have you even seen yourself?" His voice was harsh, and I flinched away from it. Why was he angry at me suddenly?
"No, I'd imagine that I look the same as I did before I fell asleep." I laughed lightly. "How long was I put anyway?" Jake's face stayed the same as his eyes flickered above my head. I followed his gaze, being careful not to twist too fast. Edward leaned against the couch on the other side of me, one leg crossing the other. His eyes were tired too, and coal black. Why hadn't he hunted? He had plenty of time while I was asleep.
I reached my hand that was on my belly to hold his. I grasped it and squeezed, but I doubted he noticed it. He didn't look at me. His hand was lifeless against mine. Worry gulped me up. What was wrong here?
Rosalie was by Edward's side the next second, something silver and shiny in her left hand. Edward showed a miniscule amount of emotion as he growled at her.
"Rosalie, this is a bad idea." She ignored him though, leaning down on the armrest to face me, the mirror still facing her.
"Rosalie," he warned. Her face came closer to mine, her body still hovering above me. Her golden locks fell over my ratty brown hair, mixing the two colors in an odd combination. She slowly angled the mirror to see my face. I was horrified at what I saw in my reflection.
I saw a girl, I think, but I wasn't sure if it was that, or a ghost. Like the girl's hand the ghost's entire face was pure white. The cheekbones sticking out unnaturally, the lips practically non-existant and chapped. Her eyes were a hollow brown. The chocolate color was gone, replaced by a dark black of the nighttime. Every feature blended in with the next, making the ghost terrifying and, well, ugly. Uglier than it had been before, at least. The ghost girl cried out in a scrappily voice, sounding like the caws of a thousand frightened ravens.
"I look so bad! So ugly! What happened?" I had a million questions swarming about in my head, but I couldn't bring myself to ask any more. I felt the tears milling in my eyes.