Burnt toast, burnt guest.

"So what did you say you did again?" said the man as he perused the menu, clearly desperate to choose exactly the right meal for the situation.

"I'm sort of a salesman." said The Devil, relishing in the confusion he would create.

"How can you be sort of a salesman? Surely you either sell things or you don't."

"Not necessarily, I could be a salesman and sell nothing, I could just be very bad at it. But no, I'm more in the business of buying things so I suppose salesman isn't the right word at all."

"What do you buy? I doubt you work in stocks and shares," the man said, glancing up from the life-changing decision that was what he was to have for lunch, "You don't look anywhere near stressed enough to be in stocks."

"Well, I trade in a very precious commodity which is precisely why I came to you."

The as yet clueless guest was about to enquire as to what precious commodity he could possibly own when the blonde waitress he had spotted on his way in sauntered over to their table to take their order.

"What can I get you two fine gentlemen?"

"Erm, can I have a cheese and ham panini?"

"Of course you can, sir. And anything for you, sir?" she asked, turning to The Devil.

"Just another coffee please."

"Certainly, back in a mo!" The Devil had to try his very hardest not to retch at the sweetness of the girl.

"Now, back to business." said The Devil staring intently at the man sat opposite him. "There is something you have that I need, I'm sure I told you this on the phone, but it's a little more important than you may have thought."

"I'm not sure I'm liking the sound of this."

"You will, don't worry. Now, I am The Devil, Satan, Lucifer, The Morning Star and occasionally Beelzebub, but I don't really like that one because he is most certainly not in charge. So, before you run off and find those men in white coats that you humans seem to like so much, let me make you a proposition. But first, our lunch."

"We only ordered a minute ago-"

"Here we are, a cheese and ham panini for you and another coffee for you. Enjoy your meals."

"But she only took our orders a minute ago."

"I made them hurry up a bit, I absolutely despise waiting."

"You shouldn't have done, now the bread's all burnt."

"It would've been burnt whether I hurried them or not, but if you're going to complain." The Devil leant back in his seat and glared at the man opposite, as he did so, he began to resemble a cartoon character who has mistakenly eaten dynamite; charred around the edges with a comedy hairstyle but mostly unharmed. "Now, can we get back to business or do I have to reduce you to cinders?"

The End

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