Office Babble

oh yes.  A meeting.  The guy in the tie is at the front.  He's twenty and he's a supervisor.  Got the job not because he's educated or terribly forward thinking, but because his boss, a bigger boss, can't find any other forty year ods with a peter pan complex that still says "chug chug" and buy "jugs of beer".  Did you see the mambojambos on her, says the boss to the twenty year old all the time, and they high five and crap like that.

Here it comes.  They're going to "roll something out."  That means the managers get to tell us something that head office has planned that we can get hyped up about.  It's new.  It's exciting.  He calls us all guys even though there are women in the room.  Okay guys, keep it down.  C'mon guys, let's show some enthusiasm here.  C'mon guys, there's no I in team.  Yeah, there's no we in team either.  Certainly no Trevor in team.  Sorry, thought this was a word game. 

No one else says "roll it out" but managers and supervisors.  If we do, we look like we're trying to act like bosses, which we are not.  So managers say "roll out" and we do too, to each other though, and we pretend we're the bosses and laugh when we say it.

The same goes for "ramp up", which means to increase steadily, but ramp up has that special enthusiastic quality which managers like.  Nothing is ever increased anymore.  Everything is ramped up.  Did you just say you wanted to make sure we were on the same page so nobody drops the ball because now is zero time?  Did he just say that?

Let's think outside the box.  Except the box is the building we work in apparently.

Go ramp yourself.

(this seems universal amongst techonlogy call centres ACROSS Canada)

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