Chp 1: Rice Pudding

This is an entirely random story that I want random people to add random chapters to, as long as they keep the name Sir (you may lose the sir if you like) James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery as our female lead's name. And ... just add on random pages and we'll let our characters create the story themselves, as they always do. :)

Sir James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery IV was perfectly happy with everything about her exceedingly long name.  She was also perfectly fine with the fact that her name was SIR James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery IV.  The thing was, her mother had given birth to no sons.  At first, they had named her Jennifer Montgomery.  But that was a perfectly boring name.  When they realized (meaning: when the doctor had told them) that Mrs. James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery III could no longer have children, they immediately changed Jennifer's name to Sir James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery IV.  They simply HAD to have that name carried on.

"Promise us, now really do promise us, darling, that you'll name your son - " here Sir James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery III interrupted with "or daughter".  Mrs. Montgomery shot him a look and continued.  " OR DAUGHTER, promise us that you'll name your son or daughter James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery V, yes?"

"I promise, Mother," young James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery IV had yawned.  "Now do go, it's dolly's nap time, and she does get so bothersome when she hasn't had her nap."  The little porcelain doll sat up in the little wooden crib and reassured her grandparents that this was true.  Well, at least she did in James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery IV's mind.

Since James Vladimir Demitri Montmorency Montgomery's name was, firstly, MALE, and secondly, rather long, her friends and family most often called her Jamie.  As in:

"Jamie, wash your face!"

"Jamie, go fetch me that pitcher, please!"

"Jamie, don't track mud all over the carpets!"


Now, the one thing James Vladimir Dem - ahem - JAMIE - was not happy about was the lack of freedom she possessed.  Jamie often looked out her window and watched little boys and girls swinging from trees.  All she could do was play with her dolls, practice reciting her name (a very tedious task), play her piano, practice her penmanship, and make up little stories in her head.

"Dolly, what's it like outside?" Jamie asked her rosy-cheeked doll once.

"I haven't the faintest idea!" Dolly replied snappishly.  "I mean, I spent the majority of my lifetime in a glass case in that store, and then I was transfered into a cardboard box, and then I was rattled along in the dark, riding atop who knows what (Jamie repressed the urge to say she knew what) and brought here!  Why, I haven't even see all of your house!  I've only seen your bedroom, your playroom, the music room, the library, the parlor, the stairs, and the attic!  I haven't the faintest idea what a Dining Hall or a Chicken is!"

"For the last time, Dolly, a chicken is an ANIMAL and a KITCHEN is a ROOM where we cook food!" Jamie sighed in exasperation.  "And mother won't allow you into the dining hall, which is where we EAT, or into the kitchen.  Frankly, I won't allow you in the kitchen anyways.  There's too many sharp objects and sauces to cut your dress or stain your hair."

Dolly narrowed her marble eyes to slits.  "Fine then."  And she didn't talk for the rest of the day.  Well, not until Jamie offered her some rice pudding that she'd sneaked up from dessert.

Dolly glared at her as Jamie spooned the pudding into her glass mouth.  "Just because I'm eating this doesn't mean I forgive you."

The End

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