"That is CORRECT!" shouted the announcer. "Annnnd ladies and gentleman, Jim Beau has won it all! He's going home with the ENTIRE prize!"
"Yes indeed," he continued, as if someone had shouted Surely not!... "that's an all-expenses-paid one-way trip to Glamiton, the planet of luxury so they say…" A curtain pulled back to reveal a small stage full of large, mysteriously vague photographs of people having a good time.
The announcer continued, "…a life-time supply of those colorful fuzzy pipe cleaners…" Jim gaped in shock at the bright, colorful horror that was revealed by the second curtain.
"...annnnd... a brand, new... coffee maker!!!"
The final curtain unveiled a room with a lone coffee maker standing on a table in the middle of it. Jim didn't care that it did, actually, look like a fairly nice coffee maker. He was pissed. This show was famous for its wildly expensive and glamorous prizes... he'd put so much work into winning this crap. He scoured the pictures of this Glamiton planet, hoping to find hope. There was nothing. It was bound to be a cheesy tourist planet where the prices were tripled and the people were either really young or really old.
"...which will go great on your brand new spaceship!!!"
The crowd gasped and cheered as from the ceiling, a sexy red speed-ship was lowered onto the center of the stage. The music trumpeted its arrival and the spotlights danced chaotically around it. The male contestant next to Jim, who had been there the whole time, grunted in disgust.
Jim smiled gleefully at his new spaceship and couldn't contain his excitement. He didn't need to pee anymore, and was grateful to be standing behind this podium.
"Come on down!" said the announcer. "No need to hold back, Jim, it's your spaceship..." Jim stood awkwardly where he was. Oh, he wanted to go to it. He wanted to stroke its smooth, shiny finish. He wanted to cup those gigantic thrusters in his hands. It was with tormented self-restraint that he began to nonchalantly take off his jacket so as to wrap it around his waist before stepping out from behind his dignity-shield.
As the cameras, the audience, the announcer, and both of the other contestants stared at him wondering what the hell his problem was, and if he didn't want the spaceship why didn't he just say so and then maybe they could have it, he fumbled over his jacket sleeve, causing an almost imperceptibly tiny earpiece to fall out of his ear.
"Hey!" said Lolita, the female contestant, pointing dramatically towards Jim and saying her words extra slowly. "He's been cheating!"
Jim considered the first few options that came to mind.