They say that Stan was very pale

And wan; his health was poor.

Each day, he took his sack of mail,

And went from door to door.

Each morning he would cry and sob

When he got out of bed.

''Oh Lordy, how I hate this job.

I'd rather write, instead.

''Whatever made me heed the call,

The day I saw the ad,

On a small poster in the mall?

I must have been quite mad.''

For Stan was an insomniac

For him to sleep was rare.

And further, he had hurt his back

But no-one seemed to care.

He also had a lifelong fear

(Which caused him much distress)

Of barking, snapping, yapping dogs.

Oh dear me, what a mess.

For every day he'd dodge and jump

And run and hide and shake..

For canines, they were all around

And followed in his wake.

One day, Stan met a Doberman

Who seemed about to bite.

And sadly, I must now report...

He dropped stone dead, of fright!

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I wouldn't worry too much about the rhyming pattern and syllables, as long as it follows the nonsensical theme.

A death and a moral are optional but encouraged.

updated Aug 19 by aryst0krat