Ned Mission was a tecnician
He handled machines with care
Enjoyed his job and his life
Except that he had no hair

The doctors told him that it was
Something to do with electricity
It was quite the complicated problem
With little to no simplicity

Now Ned Mission needed that job
It was the only one he could do
He needed money to support his kids
And his beautiful wife named Sue

But Ned Mission also missed
His beautiful hair-ed head
So he made a promise to himself
To regain it before he was dead

He tried tonics and rubs and silly things
Liked mixed herbs and stinky teas
And although he was Agnostic
He even gave God a polite "Please?"

None of this did work for him
He was a man of despair
He knew that it was futile now
He'd never have a full head of hair

But while gazing out the window one day
He had a great sort of thought
The next day when he went to work
His wives rubber gloves he brought

They were all torn up to shreds
And then glued back together
He made them into a silly hat
So electricity his hair could weather

It didn't take long for his hair to grow back
And that made him one happy Ned
He had a wife a job and loving kids
And a great big mop of hair on his head

So if you're presented with a problem
And you don't know what you can do
Take a leaf from Ned Mission's book
Think creatively and look from another view

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I wouldn't worry too much about the rhyming pattern and syllables, as long as it follows the nonsensical theme.

A death and a moral are optional but encouraged.

updated Aug 19, 2008 by aryst0krat