I knock on the door of Nathan's flat. I am dressed in a strapless white dress, that has a red bow under the breast, with my fave red heels, because the only way I could get out of the house was to say I was going clubbing with a girlfriend who Ben didn't know, and that I'd stay over at hers.
Nathan answers the door in just a jeans and t-shirt. I feel my cheeks redden. Now I look like I've made a massive effort...
"I.. I told Ben I was going clubbing, thats why I'm dressed like this I swear I didn't make this much effort on purpose!" I say in a massive rush. He silences me by grabbing my wrist and pulling me into the flat, and then planting a kiss straight on my jabbering mouth.
"I missed you.." He whispers when we come up for breath. "I'm sorry I threatened you, it was just a last resort, I needed to see you.."
"Its ok, babe, I missed you too, I just couldn't get away from Ben.." I hear myself saying. And as I hear it, as if from someone else's mouth, I realize the truth in it. I love Nathan... But no more, or less than I love Ben.. Why oh why can't I just love them both?