I glare at the hat as I take it off my head.
"I did not agree to that, at all." I inform it before dropping it sharply back onto the stool.
With a great reluctance, I turn from Hannah and Megan in Hufflepuff, Gregor in Ravenclaw and Steph in Gryffindor. I make my way slowly to the reluctantly clapping Slytherins.
I'm a Muggleborn.
I am of muggle blood and I have been put in Slytherin.
Swallowing sharply, I take a reluctant seat at the very edge of the table, carefully ensuring I am at the opposite side of the sneering Draco Malfoy.
To distract myself from my ultimate doom, I turn my attention to the stool I recently vacated to watch Michael Moon take his seat. He quickly gets sorted into Ravenclaw and takes a seat next to Gregor. Theodore Nott is called up.
"Slytherin." Well, I try and cheer myself up a bit, at least he doesn't look like he wants to murder me on the spot.
Pansy is called next, a smug smile on her face as she puts the hat on. The Patil twins are after, Padma in Ravenclaw and Parvati joining Steph, taking a seat next to Hermione. Harry is after, the roar coming from Steph's table is deafening as he walks over to them.
Peter Perks then makes Ravenclaw before Mary-Sally Anne becomes a Hufflepuff.
"Katherine Pollus," is called up next, I watch with baited breathe as she takes a seat, visibly shaking under the much too large hat.
"Ravenclaw," the hat decides, rather quickly. Katherine removes the hat and heads over to the Ravenclaw table. Once sitting down, she catches my eyes, looking lost among all those she barely knows. I answer in turn, nudging my head to the side, where I know half the house is glaring at me.
"Seaton Adam." I jerk at the name of my ex-boyfriend, turning from my silent conversation to watch as the minuscule guy swaggers up to the stool.
'What's he doing here? He doesn't even like Harry Potter! It's not scientific enough for him,' I blink, eyes not moving from the tiny, immature guy. Out of the side of my eye, I see Steph eyeing me with a smirk from her table.
"Don't you start!" I mouth, glaring daggers at her.
"Ravenclaw." The hat decides.
'That'll make things slightly easier.’ I decide, having half expected him to be put in Slytherin, I track him as he walks over to sit opposite the much taller form of Gregor, next to Katherine. By the way they both turn to Gregor, then me, I guess Gregor has quickly introduced Katherine to him.
Adam turns to me with a smirk, catches sight of the rest of my house and covers his mouth, but is unable to cover the shaking of his shoulders.
I narrow my eyes, promising retribution as Lisa Turpin, the third last student, goes to Ravenclaw.
Only two were left. Ron Weasely and Blaise Zagini. Once sorted, Blaise taking the seat directly opposite me, McGonagall takes the stool and the hat away and Dumbledore gets up. I stare at his pure white, super long beard in fascination ... As well as a distraction from the hate I’m sure to receive as soon as the feast starts.
“Welcome!" He says, a beaming smile just visible through the humongous beard. He had to have used magic to get it that big! "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words-" I say the next words along with him, having watched the movies far too many times. "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
Turning with a red face, I try and keep my eyes on the food in front of me but can't ignore the multitude of daggers being sent my way.
Taking a deep breath, and clenching my fists, I look up with a wide grin.
"Hey, nice to meet you all!" I say in a forced cheery voice, keeping a bright expression as my insides wither away in mortification. "I'm Louise, and you all are?"
"You’re a mudblood." Draco sneers from his position looking at me.
I stare blankly back at him. Blinking slowly.
"That is not biologically possible." I inform him, to which I receive an equally blank stare in return. "If my blood was made of mud, I wouldn't be alive, as mud can't carry oxygen through me."
"What are you on about?" A girl from my side, sitting directly opposite the blonde eejit asks. I turn to her and immediately recognize her as Pansy Parkinson. I blink in shock. . Her wide, blue eyes are perfectly round, I mean a perfect circle, showing the whites around the entire iris.
"Wow, you have some ... Nice eyes." I solemnly state, placing a hand gently over my chest-
Where the hell are my boobs!Throwing dignity out the window, I glance down in shock to see my chest is completely flat. Oh no. Oh Rassilon please no! I have to go through puberty again!
A cough from my left brings me back from my horror as I realize round eyes and Blonde eejit are still waiting for a reply.
"Basic biology?" I ask, to receive nothing. Even Daphne and Blaise, whom I had had high hopes from, look completely blank. "What do they teach you people?" I ask in horror.
"How to be a proper pureblood." Draco informs me pompously.
"What the heck does that mean!?" I exclaim, "Blood is blood. It goes through your heart, collects oxygen from your lungs, then goes to the rest of your body, depositing your oxygen and picking up CO2 then depositing it back into your lungs where you can breathe it out again. You can't have 'Pure' blood, if it was Pure, there's be no way for it to pick up CO2 and you'd die from Carbon poisoning."
Everyone keeps staring at me blankly, even some of the older years look completely lost, like I had begun speaking some foreign language.
"You know?" I try weakly, expecting SOMEONE to at least understand what I'm on about. "What school did you all go to before here? I can tell you it hasn't been certified by the government."
"I was homeschooled." Draco states proudly, many others murmur in agreement, nodding along.
"If you don't know basic biology, I wouldn't be proud about that!" I snap back.
"Why should we bother needing to know Biology?" An older student asks, "That’s just some Muggle thing,"
"Don't you want to know how your body works? What puberty is doing to you?" I turn to those in my year, "what it will do to us?"
"What's Puberty?" Blaise asks, putting his fork down, taking a sudden interest in the conversation.
"Your body changes as you become a teenager. Males-" I pause, feeling my face heat up as I realize I was about to inform them about the penises getting larger - "uh a males nether regions start growing?" I trail off awkwardly, but judging by the lack of realization, I'm going to have to go into further detail.
"A male’s penis will get larger and grow, you will experience wet dreams, you will begin to grow hair, your voices will begin to crack.
"And girls, we start to grow boobs, we get periods, we grow taller, get major hormone swings."
"A period?" An older girl, probably around thirteen asks, "What is that?" Other people along the table are beginning to look reluctantly interested, I'm guessing as many of them have experienced what this random first year is laying out for them.
"We bleed out for about a week every month."
"Isn't that dangerous!?"
I hold in my laughter at the sudden outrage and notice a bunch of older girls have turned red, some others look terrified.
"Yup. In order to become fertile, we need to begin our period, which means our ovaries release an egg each month, but if it isn't fertilized by a sperm, then your womb will release all the blood it had been storing in preparation."
I slump as I realize the reality of how little these girls know about what they will be experiencing in the next couple years, it's not right to be led blindly into it all.
"I think this is a topic best discussed elsewhere." I decide, suddenly noticing the smell that had been tingling my senses for the last conversation.
There is roast sitting right in front of me. I immediately reach forward, eyes wide at the thought of some food-
For it to vanish.
"What-?" My hands uselessly come back to me as I stare at where the delicious looking roast head been.
Then it's replaced by every kind of desert I could think off.
Having not had any tea, however, I ignore the chocolate cakes, and the jelly (bleurgh) and the pies, and the mousses and the ice cream of every colour and the Victoria sponge and the Eton mess and the sticky toffee pudding and the cremebrulé and the parfait.
I instead turn to the large bowl of strawberries, quickly reaching over and snatching it.
To my surprise, no one seems at all interested in the large bowl of delicious fruit I just stole. Instead they all reach for the cakes and ice cream. Shrugging, I settle down and start on my strawberries.
"So?" An older male asks me, spoon full of some steaming sticky toffee pudding. I glance over at him, my latest strawberry halting on its way to my mouth, "are you a mudblood?"
"I think I have already explained that no, my blood is not made of mud." I snap to him in annoyance, quickly stuffing the juicy red sweetness in my mouth before I'm distracted again.
"Are your parents magical, is what he meant to say," Daphne puts in from next to me, I turn to her with a sad smile.
"No idea." I answer honestly. Considering I've been plonked back in time, I reason to myself, I don't know who my parents are here.
"How could you NOT know who your parents are?" Draco sneers, I blink at him, raising an eyebrow.
"Quite easily. They died before I got to know them. Me and my frie-siblings were brought up together by a Squib." I quickly make up. I'll need to cover why I know my friends as well as I do, and why I seem to have no parents.
"Who are you're siblings?" Blaise asks, I nod to the Gryffindor table, "see the Ginger next to the fluffy brunette?" I ask, the others turn and nod, "that's Steph. Then past her, at the Ravenclaw table, the tall, guy with curly blonde hair is Gregor. Opposite him, the girl with dark hair is Katherine and next to her, the tiny boy, is Adam. Then at the Hufflepuff table, facing away from us, the black haired, and blonde bobbed girls are Megan and Hannah respectively."
"You all live together?" pansy asks, looking slightly sick. I nod.
"Our parents were best friends," I make up, "they all died-" come on, come on, THINK, "-in an explosion when we were babies." I finish lamely. Thankfully they seem to buy it.
"Oh," Pansy says, looking away awkwardly.
"But we're they magical?" Draco persists, I glare at him.
"Are you deaf?" I snarl, feeling a surge of anger rippling through my chest, the air around us seems to get cooler, Daphne and Crabbe, sitting on either of me, shiver. "I said I don't know. They died. We were put in a home together. We got adopted by some Squib who recognized some accidental magic."
The table around me is silent as I breathe in slowly, counting to four, then breathe out, counting to seven. I feel my shoulders relax, the air gets warmer again, Draco avoids my gaze, looking down at his bowl of chocolate ice cream.
Slytherin has been subdued.
Sending a last withering glare at the idiotic moron, I concentrate on my strawberries as talk slowly begins to start up again.
After my I-lost-track-how-many strawberry, I finally started to feel full. Pudding suddenly vanishes and I turn to the head table, feeling eyes still on me.
"Ahem - just a few more words now we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you.
"First years should note that the forest in the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well." Dumbledore glances over at the Weasely twins.
"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.
"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madame Hooch.
"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."
I turn to watch the Slytherins reactions, many of the older ones are rolling their eyes at Dumbledore's warning. Whilst the younger are whispering, doubtlessly making plans to go check out the forbidden Corridor.
A school full of teenagers, I snarl at the friendly looking old man, and you believe a challenge like that is going to keep them away? Do you know nothing of how teenagers work? My internal rant is cut short as Dumbledore starts speaking again.
"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" Cries Dumbledore, giving his wand a flick. A long, golden ribbon shoots out, twisting itself into words.
"Everyone pick their favorite tune," Dumbledore tells us, "and off we go!"
I choose a happy, bouncy tune as I sing along, quietly under my breath, letting my words be lost in the cacophony.
Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please,
Wether we be old and bald
Or young with Scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling
With some interesting stuff,
For now they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff
So teach us things worth knowing,
Being back what we forgot,
Just do your best, well do the rest,
And learn until our brains all rot.
The last to finish are the Weasely twins, sounding sad and morose as they sing, the polar opposite of how I sung it.
"Ah, music," Dumbledore says after the clapping had stopped, "A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!"
At his dismissal, two prefects stand up and head towards us, the girl is tall, with short, bobbed brown hair, next to her is a stalky, mean looking guy.
As the rest of the houses, as well as the Slytherins, start heading out of the Hall, the young woman Prefect turns to us, getting us to follow only when the crowds have dispersed.
"Congratulations," she begins as the male steps to the back of us, she takes us out of the hall and to the left, towards a set of stairs heading down. "I'm Prefect Gemma Farley and that's Prefect Darlin Cadder, and we're delighted to welcome you to Slytherin house." We take a left turn at the bottom of the stairs as Gemma continues talking.
"Our emblem is the serpent, the wisest of creatures; our house colours are emerald green and silver and our common room lies behind a concealed entrance down in the dungeons.” she points to a green drapery hanging off the wall and steps up to it.
"Cunning," she says, the tapestry splits in the middle, pulling to the sides and revealing a brick wall slowly opening, much like the one at Diagon Alley would. We step inside, gazing around as the wall seals shut behind us.
"As you can see," Gemma continues, "it's Windows look out into the depths of the Hogwarts Lake. We often see the giant squid swooshing by - and sometimes more interstitial creatures. We like to feel that our hangout has the aura of a mysterious, underwater shipwreck."
She walks over to a large, silver fireplace with a large, golden Snake emblem on the wall above it.
"Now, there are a few things you should know about Slytherin - and a few you should forget." Next to me, Draco scoffs, I quickly back up, not wanting him to ruin my introduction.
"Firstly, let’s dispel a few myths. You might have heard rumors about Slytherin house - that we're all into the Dark Arts," in front of me know, Draco's platinum blonde hairs nod, I can picture the satisfied smirk on his face. "And will only talk to you if your great-grandfather was a famous wizard, and rubbish like that."
Gemma stops and looks around at us, eyes narrowing, "well, you don't want to believe everything you hear from competing houses. I'm not denying that we’ve produced our share of Dark Wizards, but so have the other three houses - they just don't like admitting it. And yes, we have traditionally tended to take students who come from long lines of witches and wizards, but nowadays you'll find plenty of people in Slytherin house who have at least one muggle parent." Draco scoffs, I narrow my eyes at the back of the pompous little git.
"Here's a little-known fact that the other three houses don't bring up much: Merlin was a Slytherin." I blink in shock, having not heard that piece of information before. "Yes, Merlin himself, the most famous wizard in history! He learned all he knew in this very house! Do you want to follow in the footsteps of Merlin?" I nod along with the other eleven year olds. "Or would you rather sit at the old desk of that illustrious ex-Hufflepuff, Eglantine Puffett, inventor of the self-soaping dish cloth?" We obediently shake our heads in the negative.
"But that's enough about what we're not. Let's talk about what we are, which is the coolest and edgiest house in this school. We play to win, because we care about honor and traditions of Slytherin.
"We also get respect from our fellow students. Yes, some of that respect might be tinged with fear, because of our Dark reputation, but you know what? It can be fun having a reputation for walking on the wild side." I wholeheartedly agree with her, smiling at the unexpectedly rousing speech I am receiving. "Chuck out a few hints that you've got access to a whole library of curses, and see if anyone feels like nicking your pencil case.
"But we're not bad people. We're like our emblem, the snake: sleek, powerful and frequently misunderstood. For instance, we Slytherins look after our own - which is more than you can say for Ravenclaw. Apart from being the biggest bunch of swots you ever met, Ravenclaw’s are famous for clambering over each other to get good marks," I nod along, having witnessed Gregor's need for the best marks in everything he does, "whereas we Slytherins are brothers. The corridors of Hogwarts can throw up surprises for the unwary, and you'll be glad you've got the serpents on your side as you move around the school. As far as we're concerned, once you've become a snake, your one of ours - an elite.
"Because you know what Salazar Slytherin looked for in his chosen students? The seeds of greatness. You've been chosen by this house because you've got the potential to be great, in the true sense of the word.
"Alright, you may see a couple of people hanging around the common room whom you might not think are destined for anything special. Well, keep that to yourself. If the sorting hat put them in here, there's something great about them and don't you forget it.
"And talking of people who aren't destined for greatness," I start shifting on my feet, legs getting sore at how long this introduction is going on for. I begin to wish for my bed, a chance to take the weight off my feet. "I haven't mentioned the Gryffindor’s. Now, a lot of people say that Slytherins and Gryffindor’s represent two sides of the same coin. Personally, I think Gryffindor’s are nothing more than wannabe Slytherins. Mind you, some people say that Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor prized the same kind of students, so perhaps we are more similar than we like to think. But that doesn't mean that we cozy up with Gryffindor’s. The like beating us only slightly less than we like beating them.
"A few more things you might need to know: our house ghost is the Bloody Baron. If you get on the right side of him, he'll sometimes agree to frighten people for you. Just don't ask him how he got bloodstained; he doesn't like it.
"The password to the common room changes every fortnight. Keep an eye on the notice board," she points to a large, wooden board floating in the air next to the wall out. "Never bring anyone from another house into our common room or tell them our password. No outsider has entered it for more than seven centuries.
"Well, I think that's all for now. I'm sure you'll like our dormitories. We sleep in ancient four-posters with green silk hangings, and bedspreads embroidered with silver thread. Medieval tapestries depicting the adventures of famous Slytherins cover the walls, and silver lanterns hang from the ceilings. You'll sleep well; it's very soothing, listening to the lake water lapping the windows at night.
"Right, off you go, girls dorms are over there to the left," she points to two archways next to each other on the opposite side of the fireplace, "the boys on the right. Your bedrooms will be the first doors you enter, and you're things will already be there.
"Alarms can be set when you get into bed, just state what time you would like to get up, I would recommend seven am and I will walk you to the hall so you don't get lost.
"Warding your own bed is allowed, and unpublishable, so I do not recommend trying to take anyone else's things. Also, do not enter the opposite sexes hall, as the consequences are severe. Goodnight."
With the dismissal, Gemma turns and walks over to a group of girls her own age and sits down to talk. The guy, Darlin, had already left sometime during Gemma's ginormous speech.
Being at the back of the group, I find myself leading everyone else to the dorms, the males cutting off to the right when we reach the archways, which I find are silver cut, with snakes twirling around them.
Inside the archway, is another set of stairs, heading down. Taking them down, the first flight leads us to what is labelled 'bathroom' so we head down the next, getting deeper and deeper under the lake until we reach another door, this one labelled 'First Year Dorms"
Shrugging, I open the door and step in, noticing my trunk next to the bed at the far end of the room, I immediately head over, plonking down on the surprisingly springy mattress before turning to see my Dorm Mates.
Pansy Parkinson is first, taking the bed third away from mine and reaching into her trunk. Directly behind Pansy is Millicent Bullstrode, a large, thick boned girl with an oddly tiny face. She gets the bed next to me, and sits, looking between us. Daphne Greengrass and Tracy Davis take their beds next, Daphne immediately closing her bed off.
"My word, she can sure talk." Tracey complains, falling back on her bed.
"I thought she's never stop." I moan as I lift my feet up, lying flat out on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Did anyone know we'd be sorted by a hat?" Millicent asks, already brushing her hair.
"My parents refused to tell me," Pansy pouts, stripping her robe off already, I quickly turn away as she starts stripping in front of us.
My god, I’m like some sort of pervert! I'm nineteen years old, why am I in a dorm with eleven year olds!?
"Do they even clean the thing?" Millicent complains, I hold back a laugh as I begin to change, behind my closed hangings.
"Ew!" Tracey adds, "Can you imagine the lice the thing could have?"
"I bags first shower!" I shout out, rubbing my hair frantically as I take a running leap, pajamas held close to my chest, to the shower.
"That's not fair! You're closest!" Millicent shrieks from behind me, I turn to close the door to find her half way towards me, glaring.
I smirk back, slowly closing the door, "first come, first served." I sing as the door latches behind me.
I turn, taking Stock of what is available. Thankfully, there is a shower, bath, toilet and sink, with five towels on named pegs behind the door.
Heading straight for the shower, I strip of my remaining clothes and step in, relaxing as the instant heat hits my skin. On a shelf under the spout, is a pile of nameless Shampoos, conditioners, body washes and clothes. I select a purple hoofer, and some 'instantly straight shampoo and condition, - dries in seconds!'
A quick shower and amazingly fast dry - instant dry towels, I step out to allow the pouting Millicent her turn.
Too tired to care for introductions, I pull the curtains over my bed and lie down on the soft mattress.
"Six forty-five, please." I say out loud, above my bed, a little green clock appears, catalogues what I said, and asks what alarm I would like. "Something cheery," I say. The clock vanishes and I assume it took in my order.
"Night, everyone." I call out, receiving two nights back.
My exhausted body quickly falls asleep to the quiet mumbling of Tracy and Pansy.