I stare out the window. A tree, possibly an elm, blocks the view. What I can see of the world is screened by the hundred green leaves of the tree and the grey branches reaching for the sun, dancing in the slight breeze. Clouds shroud the sun from view. I can espy the parking lot, access road and fence of the office complex where I work.
The thought that dominates my existence at this moment is why did I do it. I had several opportunities to back away and several more to extricate myself from the entanglement. Yet, I pushed on, drawn forward by an intriguing allure that drowned the good sense in my psyche. I followed each step down the proverbial path, cognizant of the implications, yet unwilling to retreat.
I sit here now and wonder why I know I would do it all again, despite the risks and ramifications. I can answer that question, easily, as a matter of fact. I know exactly why I fell in line and then fell. I remember every moment, the intoxication of the farce enlivening my mood and mind.
I react to the memory. I feel embolden to reach out and repeat the excursion, to relive the moment as fully as possible. The consequences disturb me and my blithe dismissal of the ramifications leads me to stare out the window, screened from a clear view of the world by the tree. I don't move my line of sight to seek a direct view, comforted by the fact that the tree is a view.
I turn around, answering the ringing phone and the mechanics of the work day consume me as I leave behind my thoughts. The tree remains, leaves and branches defying my ability to fully comprehend what I can see.