5 Fears, big and small!

1. I have the intense fear of losing my mom. When I was 12, my father passed away and I learned how to suppress my emotions. Imagine living as an adult in the body of a 12 year old and you will see how I was at the time. Losing him made me realize how fast life can change and how important having my mother still with me was. Also, the christmas after he passed, I received my first diary, starting the writing obsession that I currently harbor.

2. Not succeeding. Ever since I was little I have always planned a large future for myself. I have many goals set that I plan to achieve and if none of my goals are accomplished I will be severely dissatisfied with my life. I know that many people have this fear, but if I do not succeed in my life, it will be more than a fear come true--it will be a disappointment, a failure. I want to know that I am affecting someone somehow, but hopefully for the good. I want people to know my name and I want to be proud of my career.

3. Not being able to write. I would go insane. I have been writing in a diary for a long time and everything stemmed from there. I have had other passions in my life--drawing, acting, filming--but nothing has ever been as stress-reducing as writing. Whenever I found myself sad I would write in my diary, when something incredible happened I would consult my diary. Slowly, I started writing more poetry and started writing my first story when I was 13 and never stopped from there. I am an obsessive, emotional, and perfectionist writer and without my writer I have nothing--I am nothing.

4. Being alone and never finding love. I like my time alone, sitting contemplating my life and listening to music, but that is all. I cannot imagine a life of being alone. I need my family and friends to support me when I need support and I cannot imagine a life without them. I have had many deaths in my family and I know how it feels to lose someone and honestly, this feeling could easily be used towards the loss of everyone in my life, but multiplied by millions of tears. Also, the idea of never finding someone to truly love and have truly love me has plagued me many times in my short life. I want to know that I am lovable and not just a waste of emotions as has been proven on various different occasions.

5. Spiders. They crawl, they creep, they are sneaky, they are ugly, they are just plain wrong. Why such disgusting, little, nasty creatures were created I will never know. I know that they serve the whole food chain theory, but for everything else they aren't worth anything. I bet you didn't know that in Iran they have dog sized spiders that run faster than you. By the way, they also paralyze you while you are sleeping and they start chomping on you. You may wake up with a missing leg or arm, or you may not wake up at all. Dare to risk it? So for you spider lovers, why? Why would you love such things?

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