woopsMature

The author apologizes for the delay! Well, not really . . . she apologizes for forgetting! But as you can no doubt read, she has remembered. So where were we? Right, the animals and Aunt Rachel has become unwilling passengers for Gwen! (cough, clears throat) And tada!

"Gracious!" Aunt Rachel announced. Like most people who find themselves disorientated, Aunt Rachel was glancing around in great confusion. In her hands were gardening tools, and on her shoulder sat a perky looking black cat. (You may see the author raise her coffee mug at this point.) Here's hoping the black cat isn't bad luck, or this might be over before it’s begun . . .

"Erm...hi?" Casey asked. What does one say to ones aunt aboard an alien space ship, anyway? Hi, how you doing, we're being kidnapped by an alien teenager. But don't panic, it's her father you are going to have to worry about when he finds out she stole the family ship. We hope by then to be back from the supernova.

"Name that animal!" Gwen pointed towards a horse - a lovely white horse that was lifting its tail, depositing some rather vulgar (oh all right, it's -) shit onto a chair. "Ewwwwww."

"Cassandra, this is not what I meant by a plane!" Aunt Rachel announced. "Though, I admit, it is faster. My, you're different than your pictures! You know, no one in our family has or had red hair."

And Casey realized her aunt was referring to the good Samaritan.

"No, Aunt -"

"Hush up!" Aunt Rachel pointed a trowel at Casey. "I see, I see . . ." She glanced around. "Nothing of particular sanity. Where am I?"

 Gwen watched in horror as the horse wandered over to her. How would you feel if a strange and large animal came towards you?  To Gwen's credit, she did not run nor scream. Instead she did something a wee bit stupider when faced with an unknown animal - she held out her hand. Ah, see, I've contradicted myself. I gave her credit then called her dumb. 'Tis my story, I may say she's brilliant and then as smart as a coffee bean if I wish too.

 

And now I've gone off track. The horse wandered over to Gwen and snorted into her outstretched hand.

Quite understandably, Gwen wrinkled her nose. Horsey boogers. Hands. Yuck, no?

"We are in Gwen's - erm, space ship," Casey told her aunt. "Do you have any tissues with you?"

"Glove?" Aunt Rachel held out her hand to Gwen. Casey figured her aunt was in denial from suddenly not being in a safe garden. Hesitantly, Gwen reached out and took the glove. She stared at it. "Well, use it, silly! You went through the trouble of taking it off my hand!?"

The poor defenseless glove screamed in agony as horse boogers were transferred from the soft skin of the girl to his rough surface. No one paid attention, as no one could hear him. Afterwards, Gwen tried to give it back to Aunt Rachel (who from here forth will be Rachel as the author has decided she doesn't want to write 'Aunt' in front of 'Rachel' anymore unless spoken by Casey. Rachel isn't the author's aunt!).

"Uh, well, thank you dear, but I think it would be better suited for the garbage."

Gwen gawked at Rachel. "You don't reuse things?!"

Ack-gag! Obviously Gwen recycles a little too much! Though she is right - why not clean the glove? Rachel's comment seems to point to Casey's worry of her aunt's denial.

"Right. Sink anywhere?" And the horse went pee.

Gwen scurried away, grabbing Casey's hand and moving the other girl in front of herself. "Tame it! Its spitting poison water from a sack!"

Laughter bounced off the walls and ceiling, coming from Casey's small mouth, proving big sounds may come from small places. Rachel frowned.

"Poison?" she wondered.

"It isn't spitting dangerous liquids?" Gwen asked.

Casey's heart skipped a beat. How cute! She giggled, "No, actually, it is - erm," she trailed off. "Disposing of waste."

"Won't that hurt us?"

"Well, I wouldn't bathe in it or drink it, but as long as you don't do those . . . no."

"Oh."

Trilling suddenly exploded from one of the computers. The horse brayed and turned tail, rushing out of the room and into the hall that Casey (and the author) did not notice before. A pig squealed while dodging the obviously bigger animal.

"Are you sure it is not dangerous?" Gwen asked, gaping at the door. The pig stuck his nose in the room, oinking reassuringly.

Lights began to flash on a screen. Gwen hesitantly turned away from the doorway, glancing back once to make sure no horse was coming after her. She made her way to the computer, going around chickens and a deer.

“Who is that gentleman?” Rachel asked innocently.

Casey turned to a corner, and saw an older male version of Gwen. By the look of things, he was not very impressed.

 “Gswa-“ and Casey (and I) have no idea what the man was saying nor how to pronounce, let alone spell, the word, though we are both assuming the word is Gwen – “What are you doing with my brand new TNDoubleU? First you sneak it out of the Port, then you go on a joy ride across the galaxy, and then – Who the devil are you?!”

Casey was only relieved Mr. Alien saw Rachel and not her.

“Confused,” Rachel stoutly replied.

“You cannot have anymore pets!” Mr. Alien thundered.

“Not pets. Just poor pedestrians I needed to help.”

“Pedestrians - ? Do not move! You stay right where you are! We are coming to get you! You’re lucky Mr. Kl-(insert foreign name here) will lend your mother and me his car!”

“I was just being helpful!” Gwen protested. At this moment, a German Shepherd Dog wandered in, sniffing around the wall and floor before going to Gwen and licking her leg. Gwen stiffened.

“He won’t hurt you,” Casey said.

“Oh great, another Barbarian,” Mr. Alien sighed. “Do not move!”

His body flickered, like a bad TV screen. Casey blinked hard after he disappeared. Holograms?

“So…wanna meet my parents?” Gwen asked with a guilty grin. The dog barked happily. Rachel crossed her arms.

“Cassandra, you better start explaining this.”

Oh boy.

The End

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