I wanted my life to be exciting. I wanted a change. And now, when I've finally gotten that change, I don't want it anymore. I can live without it. I just want my old life back. The nonviolent one. The "happy" life I used to live.
A canvas stood in front of me. It was plain white. Not a single pigment of color, none, except for the whiteness. A palette of colors was in my left hand. Every single color of the rainbow. They ranged from the deepest blue to the richest red to brightest yellow. Each color was in my complete control. I ruled this world of colors. I had conquered this world over 15 years. Finally, as a fifteen year old, the colors were completely and utterly under my control. Well almost 15. In a few months’ time, I’d finally be a fifteen year old. Just five simple months.
The canvas was still empty. I dipped my paintbrush into the water. I still had no idea what to paint. I had locked myself up in the attic, and I wouldn’t leave until I was done. But without an idea, how? How would I be able to gently paint lines with my paintbrush on this canvas? I always had an idea, but now… They had disappeared, along with my hopes and dreams. There was of course a reason for this, but it was tragic. I was usually happy and joyful, which was the reason that I could paint, but with all of this sadness, I-I just couldn’t. The clear pictures in my mind were nonexistent. I wanted them back, but they had flown away. Just like the birds in winter, when they fly south towards the warmer countries.
This was what’d happened: It was a day like any other. All of my days looked the same in this awful, war zone of a town. Technically it was the headquarters of the war zone. I was escorted to school in my ugly, plain, boring uniform. Then I spent hours in school, listening to each of my teachers jap about how this country was so amazing, they were monitored and wore shock collars, so if they said something wrong, ZAP! Then I was escorted back home, where I did hours and hours of homework, before assisting my mother with dinner, and that was my days, but that day had been different.