My vision was already fuzzy, and I'd hardly gotten threw half the bottle. I looked about at the crowed. Most of them were drunken men. I could barely see their features through the neon lights, or hear their voices threw the loud crass music. Was I going to turn out like them? Sittingg in a bar, a hollow, soulless shell...
I sunk in a corner on the floor, (I didn't really think I'd keep my balance on a chair), and began speculating and observing my future. I caught the eye of some women on the floor while searching the crowed carefully. I felt my face grow hot and red, under something that wasn’t the influence of alcohol, but due to the "sexy" women. I finally figured out where I was, I wasn’t in a normal bar, I was in a strip club. Their laced, erotic costumes and seductive yet trashy makeup…was it really ok to look? I dropped my gaze to my feet. It wasn’t like they were not attractive, they were more than simply sexy… it just didn’t feel right. I was a failure, a mess, and an incompetent brat...But not a pimp or a gigolo, I’d never even kissed a woman in my life, it was so wrong to be watching them doing what they do. Right now, I just needed a place to crash.
I decided sitting in the corner would be wise, and inconspicuous. It would make me invisible to the crowd... either way, I was invisible to the world. I also decided it would be better to leave behind my bottle, before I got too drunk to make good decisions and landed up naked in a dumpster.
I guess I was wrong to think I was invisible, not here at least. In a world that mattered maybe, but not here, in a world where time itself seemed twisted and distorted. She stood in front of me, all seductive ad alluring, in a red corset, her blonde hair trailing down her back. I gulped, as she pouted her pink puffy lips.
“Why so sad little boy,” She asked, in a tone that was unnaturally sexy, “want me to make you feel better?”
My entire body was shaking, my face burning with embarrassment. The way she had positioned herself, the only thing I could see when I lifted my head was her large chest.
“No…no…I’m fine…”I muttered. Before she could say any more I began vigorously shaking my head side to side.
"No..no...really..." It was the best way to keep people away,. make them think your a freak. She got up, rolled her eyes, and walked away. I sighed. I had to find a better hiding spot.
As I began to raise myself from my perch, I saw her. Her beautiful alabaster skin and dark black hair, with eyes like calming pools of water…I wasn’t looking at her cloths, but her gorgeous features. I wanted to see her in a beautiful sun dress and little sun hat, surrounded by a field of daffodils in the light of summer months, so as to fill my canvas with a captivating beauty, pure and indestructible by time.
Hopeing she hadn't seen me, I immediatly began to sketch out her image in the sketch pad I had carried, designing the little sun dress with rose patterns and butterflies flitting around the cloth, the hat with a small coloured feather sticking out from the top and the beautiful face...
"If only she'd come a little closer, so I can get the image in her eyes without the trashy makeup..." I thought, as I shaded her iris with the tip of my pencil.
Art... Painting beautiful things, my only joy in life. In times when the world seemed to drown me in its never ending pool of black sorrows, I could always escape into my own little world, where everything was beautiful, and at that moment, her eyes were the most gorgeous and pure object I could see, or perhaps had ever seen...and to find such a rare dimond in uch a cold, dark atmosphere...
"Just a little closer, so I get the shape of her natural lashes..." I began to let my hand take on a life of it's own, copying every detail I could remember, fogetting to look at the perfect creature I was mapping out.
Within a split second, the pad was ripped from my hand, and the pencile lay, broken on the floor."NOT SO CLOSE!!" I thought, and almost screamed. My face turned scarlet, as my heart pounding like a beating war drum, scared of her reaction, but captivated by her face, by her eyes...by her.
"Im sorry..." I managed to mutter, "Im not a creep...I...just...I" She had me out of breath. Just blooking pittifully in her beautiful eyes.