"Grace is dead" Abby's voice kept replaying in my head, my face felt hot and I needed to get sick. I sit on my bed smoking a cigarette thinking of the last time I saw Grace. She was at a party with her then boyfriend Brian she was the only one not drinking and she stayed in the dining room of the apartment talking to Brian and her cousin Amy-Lee. Amy-lee was older than us, 19 going on 20; she had done some of the liquor run.
Grace was a model and a dancer; she had a lot of trophies and awards, nice clothes and calls from modeling agents. Grace then got really stressed with all her hard work and busy days and nights and she started to gain weight. She was only 140 lbs, but her agent Kelly Saunders wanted her to lose weight for a prom dress photo shoot for a teen magazine. Eventually Grace stopped eating more than a protein shake or a granola bar and was sent to the hospital at 110 pounds. I will never forget the time i went to visit her at the hospital, her cheek bones stuck out in her face and her eyes were sunk in. She had nothing but bone in her legs and arms and her clothes were falling off. It was a terrible thing to have to see one of my friends go through but when she started eating again she quit modeling and started dating this jock. Jay Reid.
When I first met Jay he seemed alright, but there was something about the way he treated Grace, almost like she wasn't worthy of him, and he was the boss. I heard a lot from Grace about how Jay was forcing her to move into his apartment with his brother Cody, her mother was furious when she learned Grace was living there.
"Michelle!" My mother hollered banging on my bedroom door
"What mom" I said with an angry tone
"I want to talk to you"
She came through my door way, the phone in her hands and she sat down next to me.
"Michelle, I'm making you an appointment with a doctor you need help" She said, worry lines in full presence.
"I don't need help mom, why do you think that?"
"When you aren't partying you are begging me to go to parties, you party way too much, and I am not going to let you poison your body anymore."
Poison my body?
After my mother finally left me alone, I was there thinking about what she said. I never thought of drugs as poison, just a lovely convenient thing I had access to when I felt the urge to go under.
Is it really that dangerous to be called poison?
I was worried about his doctor she wanted me to see, was it a counsellor...?
I felt a cringe in my face as I thought about actually talking to someone about my personall choices, ew. I felt there was no need for my mother to go that far, but then I thought about it and realised she was just trying to help me, but I didn't need her help, and I certaintly didn't want her help either. I wanted to be on my own, to move out of this controlling motherly house, and live my life the way I wanted.