"It's not completed yet, I'm just looking for some constructive critiscm on what I have so far. I know I'm rushing through the story, haha. I always rush when I want to get to the good parts. But, I will edit it sometime soon so things don't happen as quickly and you get a chance to know the characters.
The cold air sunk deep into her bones and chilled her. Her big coat wasn’t helping her today. Her feet crunched on the leaves scattered on the ground as she walked through the cemetery. She hated coming here. She could feel the spirits around her. She hated being able to hear them. Of all gifts she could have gotten, hers was talking to the dead. Of course, it did come in handy every now and then, like today.
“Hey, Vera.” Rosie said quietly.
A small voice whispered back on the wind, “Hi, Silver.”
“My name is Rosie now remember?”
“Oh, yes.” She giggled softly, “Hello Rosie.”
Rosie smiles, “How are you doing?”
“Just as fine as any dead person can be.”
“Is it that bad?”
“I’m trapped Sil… Rosie. I don’t know how to get out.”
“I’ll find help Vera. I promise. I will.”
“I know. I know you’re trying hard. But, I know what it’s like out there. You could be caught so easily, just like I was. But, this time you might not be able to get away.”
“I feel as if I am… compelled to do this, to risk my life for you. It’s my fault your dead.” Rosie explains.
“What’s the point in risking your life for a dead girl? You’ll just end up buried here next to me.”
“No, I won’t. I will get you out Vera. Even if it is the last thing I do.”
“Well, I’m glad you at least know what you’re in for, because, most likely, it will be the last thing you do.”
Tears begin to roll down Rosie’s face. But, they freeze half way down from the bitter cold.
“You know it’s not your fault.” Vera spoke.
“Yes it is. I could have saved you. You’d be alive right now if I would have done something.”
“No, I wouldn’t. If you did something, then we’d both be dead, and what good would that do? You’re alive, Rosie. You can save me. If you were dead, we’d have no way out. We’d both be trapped here.”
“I guess you’re right. I just can’t help but feel responsible. You’re my best friend and I ran away without trying to save you.”
“I know, but even you know it wasn’t on purpose. You ran away thinking I was behind you, and by the time you realized I wasn’t, they had already caught me. You’re very lucky they didn’t catch you.”
“Well I figured, since they already knew we were witches, then why couldn’t I use my powers.”
“And, then, you turned into a shadow.” She laughs, “I wish you could have seen the man’s face when he went about searching for you.”
Rosie laughs through the tears, “I mustn’t stay long now. I don’t want to seem too obvious.”
“Yes, you’re very right. Plus, you need to get home. Even I can feel how cold it is, and I’m dead.” She laughs a little sadly, “Come back soon, won’t you?”
“Always.” She smiles.
“Goodbye.” Vera’s voice floats away with the wind.
Rosie hurries out of the graveyard. The voices of the dead were giving her a headache.
“Hey, you!” She suddenly hears a voice say.
“Shut up,” She shoos away the dead man’s voice, “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Well, that’s a nice greeting,” she feels a hand on her shoulder. Rosie freezes and gasps, turning back to stare at a boy about her age.
“Wha…” Rosie is confused. She could have sworn there was no one else here.
“What were you doing back there?” The boy asks.
“I was, umm… I was talking t-to myself.” Rosie lies badly.
He looks at her with an odd expression, “Let me show you something.” The boy grabs a hold of her wrist and begins to run down the street.
“Stop!” She cries out, “Where are you taking me?!”
“Listen!” The boy turns around briskly and whispers, “Be quiet, okay? Do not cause a racket or we will be noticed. And, I think you’d rather a million things happen than be noticed. Wouldn’t you?”
“Shh. Follow me.” He hurries down the street still holding her by the wrist.
After a few blocks, they reach an old, worn down house.
“This is my house,” He says, “Come inside.”
The place was old, dusty and smelt liked cigarettes.
“Sorry, it’s a bit dirty in here.”
Rosie didn’t say anything and stood just inside the door with her hands folded in front of her.
“Don’t be shy.” The boy said, “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Rosie still didn’t say anything.
“My name is Peter.” He holds out his hand.
“Rosie.” She looks at his hand. After a moment, he drops it, realizing she isn’t going to shake it.
“I promise I’m not here to take you to the police or anything. I just want to ask you… Are you a witch?”
“A witch?” Rosie laughs nervously, “You really think I’m a witch?”
“Well… yes. I see you in the cemetery often… and you’re always talking to someone. But, it’s not like a conversation where you’re talking to the dead person saying you love them and such. That is what most people do. But, you… you say things like… like you’re having an actual conversation with an actual person.”
“How do you do it? How can you talk to the dead?”
“I can’t talk to the dead.” Rosie lies.
“Yes, you can! I’ve seen you doing it for the past two months. Look, I’m not going to turn you in. You can tell me.”
“Look, even if I was a witch, why on earth would I tell you? I don’t know you; you could be lying to me. How do I know you wouldn’t go off and call someone here to capture me and murder me just like Vera!” Rosie says angrily.
“No… no don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, truly I didn’t.” He puts his hand on her shoulder.
“It’s fine. Let me go.”
“You don’t have to worry about me turning you in. I would never turn any of my own kind in.” Peter states.
“You’re a wizard?” Rosie seems shocked.
“No. But, my brother is. That is why I won’t turn you in.”
“Is he here?” Rosie asks excitedly. This is the first time she has heard about another wizard besides herself and Vera in the area.
“Yes. He’s upstairs. He never leaves.”
“Take me to him, please.”
“Well, I don’t…”
“Please?” Rosie begs.
“Okay, fine. Follow me.” Peter leads her up a flight of stairs near the back of the room.