"What's wrong with you?" she asked.
"Kill me now" I groaned, making her laugh.
"The talk went that well, huh?"
I groaned again. "I think I've died, and this is what hell looks like"
"What happened?" she asked, laughing even more.
"Well, Lewis questioned whether or not I'd actually been through puberty. And then I had to explain jerking off, and before I know it..." I trailed off, and Karen let out a giggle, asking if I wanted a drink so we could talk. “Will it be alcoholic?”
"If you want" she asked, sounding amused.
I nodded, peeling myself off the floor, and heading down to the kitchen with her, smacking my head down on the table when I heard Danny telling Lilyallabout what they’d learned. Lewis asked Lily what she’d learnt, and Lily turned her head, informing him that he shouldn’t ask a lady about these things. My little diva.
"Children are evil" I muttered as Karen poured the both of us a drink.
She nodded. “They can be. So what happened anyway?"
"Well, in an attempt to explain jerking off, Danny revealed that he'd seen me and Maxxie..." I trailed off, remembering I was talking to hismother."Uh, anyway, one thing led to another and... And they kind of know how to have sex with guys now"
She laughed, ruffling my hair a little. "Better that they know from you though. Surely it'd be worse if they found out from some asshole at school or online"
"They were on the verge of asking you" I said and she chuckled.
"I guess I'd have explained it to them" she shrugged. "I'd rather that than have them go finding it online" she said and I laughed. She smiled faintly at me. "Still, at least you did it. Just" she chuckled.
"Oh, it gets better"
"Lewis remarked on how it seemed odd, and Danny offered to try it out with him at some point"
She stared at me a little, then. "You better go tell them about condoms and lube then"
"Do I have to?" I asked, feeling like a little kid being asked to take out the trash or something.
"Someone's gonna have to before they end up hurting themselves" she laughed. "Maybe not today though" she said, pouring another drink when we’d both finished the ones we had.
"And now they've told Lily, too"
This prompted more drinking, and before I realised it, I’d had a few too many than I was comfortable with when I was meant to be having. I let out a groan.
"And they'll probably spread it round the school. I'm going to hell. I don't even believe in it, and I'm going to hell"
She laughed. "Don't worry about it. All the other kids probably have a good idea already"
"How many twelve year olds do you know that know about anal sex?"
"Exactly" I whined, and she ruffled my hair again. "Can we stay over? I think I need to be drunk" I laughed, even though I was pretty tipsy already.
“’Kay" she laughed.
I treated myself to a few more drinks, going and sitting with the old man, smiling tipsily at him when he smiled at me.
"I hear you've had an interesting day" he said, amused.
"I have indeed" I said and he chuckled.
I offered him a drink, despite the fact I was in no state to pour him one, and he offered to do it for me. I thanked him, handing him the bottle and a glass before stretching out on the couch. I was lying on my back, and I felt kind of rude for not looking at the old man. So I looked at him all upside down. He let out a laugh, sipping at his drink like a fancy old man.
"What're you laughing at?" I asked.
"Nothing" he said, smirking a little. I looked at him innocently. "But your kids seem to be very well informed now" he chuckled.
"Laugh all you want, old man, Danny and Lewis are planning on trying it out" I said, glaring at him, and the weird look that washed over his features.
"Well, I suppose they're at that sort of age now" he said and I tilted my head. What sort of age? "Most kids start to experiment when they get to thirteen or fourteen. I know Maxxie did, anyway"
I giggled. "Cayden did. With his teacher"
"Maxxie had Alex and a nice boy from school... I can't remember his name now"
"I had no one" I grinned and he laughed. "Well, I had ginger, but he was doing the experimenting, not me"
"I think I was fifteen when I first had sex" he said, looking like he was busy reliving fond memories.
I sat up, feeling like a grandkid that was about to hear a story.
"What?" he laughed, noticing me.
"Your first time"
"My first time having sex?" he asked, laughing faintly and attempted to change the conversation.
"No, tell me"
"Why?" he asked, all embarrassed.
"I've never heard a straight first time story before"
He groaned. "Fuck it, you won't remember anyway"
I sat up a little more at that, all cheerful.
"She was a pretty lass; she wasn't from the best family in town, but I think after the war no one cared anyway. Anyway, she was about seventeen, and I was helping her with her chores, mostly 'cause she was pretty. I can't really remember how we ended up in bed. I think we were changing her parents' sheets and we were teasing each other about something. Whatever it was got us both undressed” he grumbled and I giggled. “I think that's enough detail for you"
I giggled a little at how embarrassed the old man and flopped over onto my belly. “Did you ever experiment?” I asked.
"With what?" he glared.
"You did" I giggled.
"I don't know what you're talking about, you're drunk"
"What was it like?" I asked, still giggling, waiting when he didn’t say anything.
"I was in the army, there wasn't much else to do when we were away from home" he said, shooting daggers at me.
"Did you liiiike it?"
"I never bottomed, if that's what you were thinking. It was okay"
"Would you do it again?"
"I'm a bit old for that these days, am I not?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at me.
I shrugged. "You're as old as you feel, in Alex's words. Because he's old" I laughed and the old man chuckled.
"I don't know, Hadley. Maybe, and only if I was topping" he said and I couldn’t help giggling. Had Maxxie known? "You've had your fun, stop picking on me. Victimising people is my job" he said grumpily.
I grinned at him, earning myself a glare. “What?” I asked innocently.
He didn’t answer me and I sort of nuzzled the arm of the couch with my cheek. I’m not sure why.
"What're you doing?" the old man asked, laughing faintly.
"I dunno. I miss Maxxie"
"I know. We all do" he said sympathetically.
"I haven't gotten laid in months. I miss that too" I complained, smushing my face into the cushions.
"You'll find someone for that" he laughed, and I looked up at him as if he knew of some magical place filled with pretty men. "Umm... A gay bar? I don't know where you'd find them but there must be somewhere"
I flopped back down on the couch at that. I hated gay bars almost as much as Cayden did.
"Can't you get Alex or Caleb to take you out somewhere? I'm sure they'll know where you can find someone"
"Dun like gay bars" I mumbled.
"You could always join the army" the old man suggested, laughing.
"Do I look like army material?" I chuckled.
"Do I look like I was ever army material?" he asked with a laugh. "I don't know where else you can find willing guys" he shrugged. "Not my area of expertise"
"'Kay" I said, smushing my face into the couch again.
"Can't you just hang out at a normal bar?"
"Maybe. I'm more likely to pick up a girl there, though"
He nodded. "but if you don't want to go to a gay bar, it's your best bet"
"M'not like Cayden, though. He could like turn people gay, I swear"
"Sounds like Maxxie. When he was between partners anyway" he said and I laughed. I missed Maxxie. I hadn’t had a dream about him in ages.
I listened to the old man as he rambled on fondly about how Maxxie could persuade anyone into bed if he wanted, but of course he didn’t because he wasn’t a slut. I kept quiet about how much of a slut Maxxie actually was, not wanting to spoil the od man’s memory of him.
"Cayden did, and at every available opportunity" I said and he laughed. I felt this weird, half smile spread across my face. "I miss him too"
Why did everyone I care about leave me? The old man watched as I fumbled for my phone, somehow managing to call Alex. Or maybe it was Caleb. I’m not sure. They seem to answer each other’s phones if it’s me calling. I think it was Alex. Either way, I informed whoever it was that I was drunk and wished to be more drunk.
Alex laughed. "Dare I ask why"
"Because the kids know how to fuck each other and I miss Maxxie"
"Poor baby. Where d'you want to go?"
"Where are you? I'll pick you up"
"I'll be there in twenty" he said, hanging up.