For the next few months, Sarah had kept being kind of violent during sex, and eventually it transferred over to everyday life. Whenever she was pissed off, she’d take it out on me, but at least she never touched the kids. Well, with the exception of Lewis, but he seemed to be used to it, and I couldn’t help but wonder how much he’d put up with.
I woke up one morning at around the seven months mark, and I don’t know what had gone on in the night, but for some reason, she woke up more pissed off than normal. I kissed her cheek, asking if she was okay when she didn’t really respond.
“I’m fine” she snapped, making me shrink back a little.
"I'll go make breakfast" I said, scurrying off to the kitchen once I’d put some boxers on.
I heard her yelling at Lewis for getting in her way as she went to wake the kids up, and I was kind of glad I hadn’t asked Danny to go and check on Lewis again. I wouldn’t put it past her to hit Danny or Lily, but I was determined to keep her attention focused on me for as long as possible. I served up breakfast, noticing her eating moodily, and did my best not to do anything to piss her off.
Yeah, I should be so lucky. The kids had finished breakfast and I could tell they were itching to ask if they could sit and watch cartoons for a bit, when Sarah told them all to get ready for school.
"It's a Saturday" I said quietly, trying not to piss her off more.
"So it is" she said, a muscle in her jaw twitched.
I cleared up the breakfast stuff and the kids all sat at the table, none of them looking sure what to do.
"Why don't you guys all go to the park?" Sarah suggested and we jumped at the chance, the four of us hurrying to get ready.
I kept them at the park for as long as possible, taking them out for lunch just so it meant they could stay away from the house for longer. I even took them to an arcade, giving them enough money each to keep them there for a couple hours. Eventually we had to go back, though, and I told them to go upstairs and play before we went back inside, which luckily they did without question.
I got to work on dinner, cooking the kids’ favourite, while Sarah watched TV. The kids came downstairs when I called up, telling them it was ready, and Sarah insisted she wasn’t hungry.
"You have to eat, Sarah" I said and she got up, slapping me hard across the face.
"Don't tell me what to do"
I looked down at my feet as I heard the kids coming. I’d done my God damned hardest to make sure they never saw it when Sarah hit me or anything like that, and so far, as far as I knew, they were oblivious to it.
"I'll eat when I'm hungry" she shoved me away and I went off to eat with the kids, ignoring the sting in my cheek.
Sarah went upstairs and I did my best to pretend like everything was fine. I got the kids some ice cream for dessert, leaving them the sauce and sprinkles to decorate it as they so wished, and made my way upstairs after Sarah.
"Do you want anything to eat yet?" I asked, finding her sitting on the bed.
"I'm never gonna be enough for you, am I?"
"I had this really weird dream. It was so realistic. But it was about your brother. He said I'd never be as good as Maxxie"
"That was just a dream"
"Didn't feel like one. Because it's true isn't it? You like dick too much to want anything else. Why am I even here?"
"You're here because I love you, and I thought you loved me too"
"What's that supposed to mean?
I sighed a little, knowing all too soon that I’d said the wrong thing. "I don't know"
"Tell me" she demanded, hitting me.
"I said I don't know" I said defensively, wincing a little.
"Well it means something. D'you think I don't care?"
"Sounds like you think that" she glared.
“Good” she said, resting her head on my shoulder. “I love you” she said as I kissed the top of her head.
“I love you too” I half lied.
"I hope you never feel like I'm not good enough"
"You'll always be good enough" I said, faking a smile.
"I better be" she said, kissing me possessively.
I kissed back submissively, and not the good kind of submission at that, glad that she seemed vaguely satisfied that I’d behaved myself.
"Now, why don't you come have something to eat?" I asked with a smile, hoping I didn’t make things worse.