Chill OutMature

“Hello?” Alex’s familiar English accent said once he picked up the phone.

I was almost amazed he actually answered, I would’ve thought Caleb would be keeping him too busy. Caleb’s twenty five now, and he still has the libido of a teenager, though I’m sure that doesn’t bother Alex. It certainly didn’t bother him the day they met when they snuck off to go have sex.

“Hey” I said.

"Hey Hadley, what's up?"

"Can you and Caleb babysit at some point?"

"If you don't mind them coming home covered in glitter"

"Dare I ask why?"

"Because Caleb made a mess and the hoover's died, so the apartment is all glittery"

"Where is he anyway? I would've thought he'd be keeping you too busy to answer the phone"

"He's put me down long enough to answer the phone" he laughed.

I laughed as well, picturing him either fast asleep and taking a break from what could potentially have been a sex marathon, or sitting pouting over how long Alex was taking on the phone.

"Anyway, when d'you want us to have the sprogs?" Alex asked.

"Whenever's okay for you" I said, realising I’d yet to pick a date with Eden. I’d been more concerned with making sure the kids had somewhere to stay.

"Any time, Hadley, you know that"

"Are you sure? I don't want to get in your way or anything"

"You won't. It's not like my career is very demanding"

"I know, but I don't want to interrupt you two or get in your way if you've made plans or anything"

"I'm sure Caleb can keep his pants on long enough to look after them" he chuckled. "I'll staple them on if I have to"

"I didn't just mean sex" I laughed.

"We don't really plan much else. We just sort of do stuff when we want, so it won't be a problem having them, seriously.

"If you're sure"


"I'll ask Eden when she's free and let you know when I need you to have them"

"Awesome. We'll drag them out to the park or something for the day"

"Don't let Caleb baby them, they're eight years old, not eight months"

"He'll probably join in on the climbing frame, knowing him”

"Probably" I laughed.

Alex chuckled. "Well you let me know. We're happy to have them any time you like"


"No problem"

"I'll see you later"

"Kay. Take it easy dude" he said, hanging up.

I checked the time, making sure it wasn’t too late, and called Eden to plan everything out. Thankfully I timed it just right and caught her on her break. We planned it out for the Saturday since neither of us had work on the Sunday, meaning we’d both be able to have a couple drinks. I cleared it up with Alex again and he said Saturday was fine, so all I had to do was plan out what we were gonna do. Yeah, by Friday night I still didn’t have much.

So I left the kids with Mom and went to Alex’s in a big, freaking out mess. He let me into his and Caleb’s apartment, which just looked like an arts and crafts shop had exploded, and I sat down on the couch, doing my best to not start hyperventilating.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked.

"How the fuck do you do first dates?"

"Well d'you know what food she likes? You could take her to dinner somewhere she'll like"

"I dunno, she likes cooking her own stuff but I dunno what she likes"

"Italian, then. Can't fail with Italian"

"But then what?"

"Sex, and lots of it" Caleb said with a nod.

"No, you're a classy guy, not a slut. Take her out for a movie or something. It's cheesy, but I think she'll like it" Alex said, punching Caleb lightly.

"Is that enough? I don't know how to do any of this"

"Sure. As long as you remember to drive her home"

"Right" I nodded.

"Sex and lots of it seemed to work for us" Caleb pouted.

"That's because we're sluts. Hadley isn't, and it's not something he should be rushing into" Alex said, rolling his eyes.

"M'not a slut" Caleb said, pouting even more.

"But what if it does get to sex? I've never been with a girl" I said, freaking out again.

"It's not that different, it's just a different hole" Alex shrugged. "Unless she likes in the ass" he chuckled and I whined because sex. "Look, unless you're having wet dreams over each other, I doubt it'll get that far on the first date. Just cross that bridge when you get to it, okay?"

"I know, I just... Well, you know what I'm like" I said and Alex wrapped me in a hug, ruffling my hair.

"You'll be fine. Stop panicking"

"Right" I said, nodding slightly.

Caleb flopped himself down on the couch, his head in my lap and his legs bent over the arm of the couch. "And if you do fuck it up, know that I'll always love you as my son and won't hold it against you that you've denied me more grandkids" he said, making Alex chuckle. "Although I s'pose if you're my son you can't come to me for comfort sex" he said thoughtfully.

"I should hope you're not going to be having sex with anyone other than me" Alex said possessively.

"Why?" Caleb giggled.

"Because you're mine. You said so when we got married" Alex poked his tongue out, playing with Caleb’s hair.

"Yus, but I was Bunny's first" Caleb said, sticking his own tongue out when Alex sulked, squeaking as Alex poked his tongue.

Alex grinned, kissing Caleb’s nose when the ginger looked up at him with wide eyes. "So if you get to have Bunny does that mean I can have him too?"



"On what you're planning on doing to him" Caleb said accusingly.

Alex tapped his nose and Caleb kept up the accusing look.

"You're mine now" Alex said, hugging me.

I laughed as Caleb shot Alex the accusing look again.

"No. My bunny is all breakable" he said.

"I'll be gentle. I do know how to be gentle"

"Sure about that?"

"Very sure. I'll show you later on if you really want"

Caleb giggled. "Will you now? Who says I'm not kidnapping Bunny and making you sleep on the couch?"

"Ah, but what if I was saving up all my gentle for Bunny?"

"Then that was very mean of you when I was still a sweet little virgin" he nodded.

"I didn't hear you complaining much"

"That's 'cause I was too busy trying not to look like a baby"

Alex tutted. "I wasn't that rough, Gayleb”

"It still hurt"

"Then how about I make up for it next time you're not kidnapping Hadley?" he said and Caleb looked up at him innocently again as Alex played with his hair. “What?”

"What're you gonna do?" he asked innocently.

"I don't think Hadley would want to hear the details" Alex grinned.

"Don't care"

Alex covered my ears to tell Caleb, and I heard Caleb giggle.

"Do I even want to ask?" I asked.

"No" Alex said.

Caleb giggled, whispering it to me. Turns out it was a very graphic description of just how Alex was going to fuck him.

"I should've guessed" I said and Alex rolled his eyes. "I'll leave you two to it, then"

"You don't have to" Alex smiled. "I was gonna save that for later"

"I don't mind” I said and he kissed my cheek.

"Stay if you want and chill out"

So I did exactly that.

The End

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