Viewpoint from Kel:
I stepped outside with my mom who surprised me with friends and family.
"Haha! You were really surprised?"
"Ma, I really was!"
"Good! You needed that! Diggy looked shocked too!"
"Ma, he was!!"
She opened up her arms and I hugged her tightly.
"Ma, this trip was sooo rough!!"
She nodded in agreement.
I finished, "it was awesome and it did solidify how great my relationship is with Diggy. I had a lot of time to think."
"This trip also broke you." She patted the stone and I sat next to her.
"It did. It really fucking did." I jumped up and started to pace around her. "Sorry ma, I don't mean to curse. But it was rough."
"I know you had plenty of time to think about this. What is your plan moving forward?"
"Honestly, I want to keep seeing him. And I got away with not telling him about what really happened so I'm taking it to the grave."
She folded her legs as I continued to ramble on. Sweat by Ciara played from the house.
"Ma, I think he is the one."
She started coughing, "one what?"
"Listen... hear me out."
I sat next to her and grabbed her hand.
"So, I think in the next two to three years, like 2014/2015, I want to relocate to a different area with Diggy and raise Jaiden as our son. But not here or Brooklyn. I liked who I was in Atlanta besides the whole cheating part. I liked being gay. I liked not being the educated hood dude, I really was just Mikhael."
"Really? I thought you had a problem with having two fathers for your son?"
"It does bother me but maybe this is what needs to happen..."
"Have you prayed about it?"
"No, I haven't. Hmph. I haven't spoken to the Lord since I laid in the bath tub in Atlanta."
"I don't know. Cause I'm ashamed."
"You think God doesn't love you anymore?"
"Ma, I don't know."
"Mikhael, he loves you and Diggy. You have to go to him in prayer. He knows your heart."
I looked down, "grandma used to say that all the time."
"She was a smart woman, wasn't she."
I nodded in agreement, " Zera was. But back to the point, ma. I will go to God and later in life I think I will privately ask for his hand in marriage."
Her mouth dropped. I finished, "whenever I date people, I have to provide and be strong. I'm allowed to be weak and sensitive with him. He protects me, mom."
She instantly gave me a hug and shed a tear.
She smiled, "then you have my blessing."