June 7th, 7:14am
I woke up from my nightmare about Kel cheating on me with all these different men. It was the first time in our relationship that I had a dream like this. I got up and freshen myself . I stood in the doorway as I brushed my teeth and admired him.
"Should I let him be free?"
It must really be bothering me that he has his own fan club down here cause I never feel like he'll cheat on me. This is almost rocking my core. I took a moment to think about what he was saying to me before I feel asleep.
"He was really excited about playing ball all day and didn't call me Diggy last night.(I sharply inhaled,) he called me Dewayne last night. I wiped away my tear and walked out to the patio.
I looked around and inhaled the morning breeze. The birds sung a different tune then the ones in Philadelphia. My balcony was only on the 4th floor, so I could still see the beautiful garden downstairs. The butterfly floated by me and I started to hum Mariah Carey's we belong together.
I look up and started to cry. I could feel the air thicken with heat as time passed. I just needed to think if I wanted to confront him or just let him be.
In my opinion, every gay man has a stage, prominiscity. It's built in us, to explore and find what you like. Kel has only had me. In a sense, I'm being selfish. I know he wants to try other men, I guess this is the maturity level speaking or just plain foolishness.
I looked up and sniffed.
"What do I do?" I said outloud.
"Good morning Diggy." Kel smiled as he opened the door.
I jumped as I wiped my tears away.
"Whats wrong Diggy? " He wrapped his hands around me.
"Do you want to break up with me?" I bluntly said.
"I beg your pardon."
I started to overreact, "You called me Dewayne last night. That's the guy from the court, right?? Listen, before you say anything, you dreamt about him!? (I lied, but I wanted to make a point.) And I think you like him. Is this why you didn't talk to me all day yesterday? You wanted to be single? You didn't tell anyone but that ugly ass Byron that you had a man."
Kel's mouth dropped as he look stunned.
"Diggy, I need you to calm down."
"You love your sex, we haven't fucked since we got down here. Are you cheating on me with Dewayne? Just be honest, if you need us to take a break, we can..."