Feel free to respond with what you may think on a seperate page. This is kind of like stomping glass seeing as most writers are broken themselves and more cracks could lead to a shatter. If you find yourself angry or agreeing or confused, point your emotion at me and I'll try to explain why you feel like that in the best way I can (on the next page, not comments)
There is a girl that i'm forced to deal with on a day to day basis. She knowa manners well enough and has proper etticate. She's relatively pretty and could honestly become a good person. Let's say her name is Cindy.
Cindy has many problems with her. The main one being her perspective. There's this thing called in-group out-group bias. This basically means that the in-group forces the outgroup to become outcasts (which means the in-group's bias is thinking the out-group is not worthy of association), and the out-group feels hatred towards the in-group and isolates, breaks down, and becomes the opposite (which means the out-group's bias is that the in-group is evil and is the anti- to everything they do). The out-group's response in-turn makes them into the very thing the in-group hates most. So where am I going with this explanation of in-group out-group bias?
The most basic social association is between children. You will always find an in-group and an out-group (i shouldnt say always as there are always scenarios that prove that word wrong). Cindy is part of the out-group. One thing about the out-group that I failed to mention, is their inherent blindness to the truth. They believe the pain they experienced while being ostracized is a crippling problem. This belief festers as long as the pain remains, sometimes to the point that the outcast will want only to feel another type of pain or nothing at all. This belief is the out-group's sole truth. Anything to the contrary will be received with anger (which from a psychological point of view is a hilarious emotion as it only reveals the person's weak points) and even violence. So this is why Cindy is so blind.
Now we know that Cindy is blind, it is time to see some mechanics of this blindness. Certain people have a need to be right in some way (having the moral high ground, being more knowledgable, etc) in all cases. Proving them wrong will just result in denial or excuses. This trait comes from a social weakness. They have no social authority so they must know their thoughts are correct in order to have stable footing. Often times they'll come up with "what if..." Situations that are absolutely outrageous in order to find a way to win an argument. They'll also play devil's advocate a lot (as they can't pass up a chance to guaranteeably show their intelligence). These traits combined create a child that anyone trying to learn something in class will hate.
Kids become like this from abandonment, abuse, bullying, injury, mental-illness, societal-pressures, stress, and the biggest of all, personality. You can have your mom divorce your dad because he abused you, get bullied for a while because of it, try to drink bleach, get a mental handicap from that incident, keep up with social norms, and pass with straight a's in a full semester of classes, and be perfectly fine with the right personality. Kids who are already weak, have the tendency to submit after a couple of these problems. And it is the lack of a proper therapist who tells them, "all you have to do is look at it in a different light, and everything becomes a lot brighter" that makes these kids falling victim to hatred kill themselves.
My overall message is, "if you think you are in a dark place, figure out where the damn flashlight is, and find the lightswitch". It is literally that simple. Look at yourself (i mean really look at yourself) decide whether you are in the in-group or out-group, and make a few course corrections. Don't use your past experiences as a crutch. Don't say "but I like being an outcast". That's essentially saying "I'm okay, I'm okay." After you just chopped someone's head off. Don't do that. That acceptance is only there to make your brain stop hating itself. in order to change, you have to truly hate where you are.
If you think i'm just telling you bullshit, I can guarantee that I've been in a darker place than you, and right now, I'm on the fast track to marrying the girl of my dreams, getting a masters in marketing, and having a successful life. So please, when I'm giving advice, listen