Break-Up

Eric's irritating girlfriend breaks it of with him. Could she BE any more ridiculous?

            “I am done with you, Eric.”

            Eric looked up from the anthology of essays that he had gripped in his hands to see Jamie, his girlfriend, glaring down at him.  She stood less than a foot in front of the chair he was sitting in, her well-kept brows furrowed and angular lips shaped into a sneer.

            “You’re… breaking up with me?” he asked, puzzled.

            “Obviously!”

            “Why?”

            She let out a cold, malicious laugh, like she couldn’t believe his supposed stupidity.

            “’Why?’  ‘Why?!’  Because, unless you’re feeling horny or broke, you rarely pay attention to me.  And even then, there’s no guarantee!”

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eric replied coolly.

            At this remark, Jamie’s long face, already flushed with rage, ripened into a primary red, like a tomato in the peek of summer.

            “Oh, please.  As if you don’t remember last week, when I fell off of that stool and pulled a muscle in my thigh.  You were right there when it happened, but you didn’t even ask if I was okay,” Jamie screeched with a jeweled index finger pointed at him, “And not even an hour later, you were annoyed when I wouldn’t have sex with you, even though I told you that my leg hurt.  You had the nerve to tell me that I was exaggerating.”

            Eric rolled his eyes.  She’s such a drama queen.  Had she always been this way?  He couldn’t remember, not that he really cared anyhow.

            Jamie now looked as if steam would start rolling up into the air from out of her large ears at any given moment.

            “And what about last month,” she continued, “when you got pissed at me after I told you I got mugged because it meant that I couldn’t buy you that antique record player from your stingy Aunt Susan?”

            “Leave my family out of this,” Eric snapped, his eyes narrowing in her direction as he slammed his book shut.

            “Why should I?” Jamie retorted, her face now a deep shade of plum.  “You always insult my family.  Even when they can hear you!  I can’t believe how insensitive you are!”

            “You’re overreacting,” he told her.

            Jamie yelled a number of swear words at him and stomped off.  Eric sighed, opening his book again.  Some people just have no class.

The End

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