When your past was so bad in so many ways, but then you get away from it and start new with a new family.. and they were the family that you wished you had... but then you finally got it, and you were the happiest you could ever be.. but also the saddest.. well some people would ask why so sad? if that was such a good thing for you. see it was the best moment in my life but then all the memories came back, swirling through my head. All the bad ones, the ones that break you and literally destroy you on the inside. they break your personality and what you ever wanted just seems to go away. like it might not be an option and to be honest your so sad to the point where you don't even care. And you get this feeling of just wanting to give up on life because the pain is too strong. It literally feels like all the abuse happened yesterday. Thats what it feels like, thats why i want to give up in school because I'm so sad and its like even when I'm there so are the memories... its like a constant battle..thats what breaks me up, tears me apart is knowing all this happened to me and knowing that i will be forever traumatized from all of it. and the things that happened in the past are literally effecting you 10 years later from something that was never your fault. see thats why i can't let go of my past but i also can't let it eat me away.