I close the closet door quietly and turn off the light. I sit on my bed and set my alarm clock for 5:15 so that I can get up and go jogging before the sun rises. I pull the covers up to my chin, so that I don’t have to look at myself anymore. I can’t stand looking at myself, yet am fascinated by other people. I pore over my sister’s fashion magazines, envying the grace and confidence of those stick thin girls. I’m constantly comparing myself to others, even my friends. I somehow feel inadequete compared to them. They can eat all the want, and never gain a pound. I’m ashamed at the fact that I have to eat at all.
I start shivering again and pull the blanket closer around me. I’ve been shivering a lot lately, but that’s probably becuase Jenny keeps turing the AC up at night. Still shivering, I try to get a few hours sleep before I have to get up. Sleeping is such a waste of time. I mean, who needs sleep when you could be excercising. But once I drift off, it’s sweet release from my daily worries.