A Brief History of Bob

Ever wondered how that thing with the electric doohickey in it worked? Or how that star was born? Why your birth mother abandoned you when you were 6 weeks old? Well, Bob has your answer. And many, many more.

Thinking back, there was a time when Bob didn't know everything.

It may be difficult to think that far back, but if you think hard... really hard... and dig and scrape around in the nigh-infinite vessel that is Bob's brain, you'll find a time where things didn't come to him quite so easily. They required more than just the flick of the wrist; more than a brief afterthought upon the consumption of a particularly memorable dessert; more than the imprint of a memory triggered by the taste of precisely that rather excellent year's cognac.

There was a time, yes, that Bob actually had to try to give an accurate answer. You know, make an effort.

Unfortunately, those times have long since passed.

Today, Bob stands before you, prepared in every possible way to give you the answer you so desire. All you need do is ask, and ye shall receive. There's no guarantee that the answer you get will be the answer you expected, or the answer you deserved, but it will be the correct answer. Always.

Of course, it needs to be a good question. Bob wouldn't deign to answer anything else. "And what constitutes a good question," you ask? Well, now. That's a question in itself, isn't it?

While any question, as stupid or vacuous as it may sound, is valid, the answer you receive may defy you to reconsider the question. Fortunately, Bob has a lot of time on his hands, and is always up for a challenge. You may have to pour him another cognac if the question requires some thought, mind you.

So, ask away. Bob's here with the solution to your quandary, 24/7.

The End

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