The smell of stale beer and salted peanuts wafts through the air as I peer through the dimly lit bar, glass in hand. Perched on a scratched leather stool, I survey the array of people in the room.
Come on, come on you can do this. Just for once in your life take control of the situation. Attracting girls has never been my forte.
This time I want to prove to myself I can do this alone. For once try and have a pleasant, normal, yet unremarkable night with a nice girl. Nerves rise in my throat as I re-adjust my glasses and push back some strands of hair from my eyes.
Then I spot her out of the corner of my eye, giggling as she whispers something across the table over her glass, smiling. That smile makes me melt. Poised and elegant, she shines over all the rest in the room. I observe the way she flicks her long hair back every so often, the way she rolls her eyes at other friends’ humour. Such effortless beauty she has, such enviable confidence. I feel my insides begin to melt. My mind startsto wander, but I brush off these hopes before I can dwell on them too long. I have doubts that such a popular, confident and beautiful person would go for a weedy guy such as myself. I have got used to being the object of other people’s jokes. I’ve been labelled “four eyes”, “geek” and many more, but their taunts were never for being fat. I’ve always been too nervous to put on much weight. But then I met someone who defended me against my tormentors.
Though these nerves are showing themselves up at this moment. I take my handkerchief and mop my brow, my breathing uneasy. I struggle with my own willpower. I have to at least try.
I shift my weight from side to side on the hard stool. Why won’t I just bite the bullet and do it?
But he gets there first.
With the utmost ease, he saunters casually up to her table and smiles his alluring smile. Within seconds, he has her. I curse myself silently for not taking the opportunity while I could. He always beats me to it; so effortlessly, so dismissively. Or perhaps I should just accept the fact that he’s the only one who could do it at all. I’m the coward. Yet I just long for someone to like me for me. To accept me as I am. That wish is far fetched. He’ll always intervene.
The cheap blond hair extensions and overuse of make up sum this girl up nicely. Evidently another aspiring Jodie Marsh. Even observing actions is unnecessary since I can judge all from the look easily enough. There’s nothing special about this one. Loud and brash, peals of laughter penetrate through the room at a pal’s jest as she sips on some form of alcho-pop. That cocky laugh mildly irritates me . You’re delusioned to fall for such crassness. Yet you found a liking nonetheless. Better to mingle with trash than to allow you to go astray. I guess there are curves in all the right places. I could make a night out of it.