Written a few months after I'd met my favourite actor as a self indulgent piece of fiction that will never be, but in my mind, should be fact.
I wrote it, purposely missing out vivid descriptions, relying heavily on dialogue so that imagination and interpretation fills in the gaps.
She didn’t want to go, but she had to. She had to let go.
“I’d better go get a cab.” She muttered, buttoning up her coat.
“On your own?” He asked, concerned. He shuffled himself into the hotel lobby chair.
He smiled. She smiled.
“It’s been good, no, great. Working with you. Always a smile on your face. Always wanting to work. Always wanting to chat!” He laughed.
“It’s been a dream! You really are amazing!”
“Nowhere near as much as you!”
She moved towards the door.
He stood up.
“I mean it. I’m so glad that I know you. I’m so glad I met you.” He looked into her eyes, they were beginning to glisten.
Were they tears?
“That’s what I said to you.”
She made her way to the door.
He followed. Stood by her.
“You sure you’re alright? Don’t want me to walk with you?”
“Na, I’m fine. I’m 18 and unknown. You’re 40 with 50 million fans after you!”
He sighed. “I guess you’re right.
The white automatic doors slid open. The cold evening air touched her breath.
Harsh, inviting her to enter it.
She turned back to look at him, a warm smile spread across his face.
“I love you.” She admitted.
He hugged her. Pecked her cheek.
Let her go.
It was Winter now. The most amazing three months of her life were over. She needed time to be alone and allow the ice to reach her mind and remind her of the real world that she lived in.
This world was empty.
She was alone.
The sludge kicked her shoe while her mind filled itself full of thoughts.
There was no need to get a cab.
No need to go home.
No need to get up in the morning.
Of course there was!
There was always a need to do things, especially in her life. This was only the beginning. So why did it feel like the end? Her dream had come true. Her career was on track. She was going places. She was doing exactly what she wanted to do. But something had happened to her in those three months.
Something she hadn’t wanted.
At times she’d thought that he’d felt something too. But she reminded herself that people always admire her.
No one ever loves her.
They’d kissed the night before, but she couldn’t remember. She’d been drunk. He had been too. She remembered waking up being carried in his arms, his smile, saying “It’s Ok!”
Helping her into her bed at the hotel.
He left straight after.
“I thought you’d still be walking!”
Cliché, but it really was.
Soothing, whenever she had been stressed.
Reassuring, whenever she had been down.
She turned around.
Black duffle coat, hands in pockets. Spits of rain in his ruffled hair.
Why had he followed her?
“How did you know which way I’d gone?”
“You always turn left.” A cheeky grin emerged upon his face.
He walked towards her.
“About last nigh-“
“Oh yeah. Oh my God. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to drink so much. I was just so sad. I know, stupid! But It was the end! I didn’t mean to. I mean, I didn’t mean to-“
“I wasn’t drunk.”
“Oh. But we. But you?”
“Everyone thought you were!”
“I’m an actor.”
“Yes.” She paused. Breathed. “Yes, you are.”
What was he trying to say? What was he trying to do?
He needed to do something about this.
He couldn’t just let go. Let her disappear. That’s what’d happen.
Slowly, text by text he’d lose her.
She’d be captured by a camera or someone better than him.
“I couldn’t just let you go. You mean a lot to me. A hell of a lot more than you probably think. Last night, It was me. I kissed you.”
“I can’t remember.”
“I can’t seem to forget it.”
He stepped closer, reached out to hold her.
She embraced his hands, pushed him away.
“But we’re stood in a street in the middle of London. People will see.”
“I don’t care.” He said, looking down into her eyes. They seemed to glisten with a hope hidden beneath the single street light. “No one’s here. No one will see. And the only thing I care about and want more in the whole world right now, is you.”
He leant his head forward, closed his eyes, held her in his arms.
Their lips touched.
Nothing awkward. Nothing wrong.
All was right.
He let go.
Just to look at her face.
She was beautiful, glowing.
She looked into his deep, dark eyes.
They were shining.
He was perfect.
“I love you.” He whispered, stroking her hair back from her face. “I always have. That first moment. The moment you smiled and I smiled. I loved you then. There was a whole crowd, so many faces. But the only one I could see was yours.”
Her teeth sparkled into a grin, she listened.
“I never thought I’d see you again. I wanted to... to know you. I know that’s weird, but I did.”
“I did come back.”
“But you weren’t there!”
“I know, and when I found out, I went crazy.”
“You found out? How?”
“How do you think?”
They smiled at each other. Held onto each other. He nestled his head around the back of her hair.
“Where were you going anyway?”
“I dunno! Nowhere really. I was just trying to clear my head. Heading home I suppose.
“you’re not going home.”
“You’re coming home with me.”
He moved his head back to see her smile. They kissed.
She’d looked for him. He’d found her. He wasn’t going to let her go.